I finally got the courage to end my marriage of over 20 years - but I needed help. I shared with my therapist how I was feeling and asked for assistance during a "couples" session to guide the topic in the direction of feelings, etc. He was "blindsided" I guess, but this was the only way I could do it - with support. Probably the hardest thing I have ever done, and the aftermath is not pretty. He immediately returned to the home and has been a bear ever since. He is trying to manipulate and control the environment all over again. It is all I can do to keep it together right now. Now, he is wanting to do everything without attorneys but he also refuses to do the things that need to be done for me to move on, making it almost impossible for me NOT to get a lawyer. I'm very torn as to what to do... do I get a lawyer anyway and protect myself? Do we try mediation even though I know how bull headed he is and he will likely not budge? Ugh... this is the ugly part for sure :(
J
It will be the hardest thing you ever do. Don’t be scared. Mediated divorces are great but you do need your own lawyer too.
You will be happier. Please don’t go back. I realized after eight months separated, what I should have done was leave then. I didn’t and am paying for it now. It just gave my soon to be ex more time to plan his way to get full temporary custody.
So, hang on. Read anything you can about mediated divorces. And try and talk to as many divorced people as you can. I felt so isolated like this wasn’t for me, but it was. My ex kept telling me I was the one not making it work. You need your own space to gather yourself back up.
Hang in there. I hate to say it, it’s only the beginning. Be determined to get it done and it will. YOU WILL BE happier. In a better mental state than you ever were. Take care.