Discuss your troubles, compare ex's, offer suggestions, and share stories!
i left 7 months ago, moved out of our home, half way across the country and now i'm living in my sister's basement. i have fairly severe chronic fatigue syndrome CFS ( which my ex couldn't handle) and he calls yesterday, cheeerful and chatty, about how he is restarting his life. and i would love to restart my life, but my health is in the way.
so i try to write it out and move on, but i'm so angry- i left, giving him a chance at a new life, and i don't have that chance. leaving was the right thing to do, but i didn't expect the emotional pain would be so bad. i feel like i lost my whole life.
because i had what i thought was a loving spouse, i handled getting CFS pretty well 20 years ago. but now in addition to grieving the marriage, i'm grieving the loss of a life from my health. how long am i going to grieve??
I am wondering the same thing. I feel like I am going to be forever grieving.
i don't have anyone i feel i can talk to. maybe you and i could share our situations. i write/journal but it doesn't feel like anyone listens or gets what i'm going through.
i think only someone going through divorce gets it. anyway, if you want to tell me more, i'm here.
Sure I could definitely use someone to share what I am going through. I cry all the time and have trouble getting through simple daily tasks. My family and friends don’t understand the level of devastation I feel. (I found out my ex was cheating on me after ten years)
hi. i'm sad that your husband would treat you that way. my husband (married 32 years) looked up an old school friend and starting having an emotional affair with her and his ex girlfriend for the last 2 years and he wanted me to consider an open marriage.
I've had fibromyalgia for 34 years and chronic fatigue syndrome for 20 years and can't do much, leave the house once a week, rest most of the time. so it was tough for my husband. at the end he admitted he hid from me nights and weekends working, because he couldn't deal with my health.
and he was a perfectionist, so i did little things he didn't like and every 2 weeks he would throw a screaming fit. i would have to leave the house to get him to stop. but i thought the rest of the time we got along and no marriage is perfect.
your husband cheating on you for 10 years, mine not being able to handle things and tell he how he felt for years, both deception. i knew divorce was what we needed, but i didn't know how hard the emotional fallout would be. crying all the time, upset, not able to get stuff done. i hear you.
i hope that wasn't too much info. how long were you married?
Hi Mardi and Carly, I'm sorry to hear how hard it's been. We all deserve love and care, especially when facing health issues. I was married 30 years and divorced this year. I can't tell if my feeling continually sad and lonely is something I need to go through (rather than avoid) or if I'm just going in circles. I moved out over a year ago. My ex also makes it hard to get over him because he'll call and ask me to get together when the divorce was his idea! Our grown up sons blame me for "leaving" when I couldn't afford the house. I'm hoping that if I really face the grieving and feel my disappointment (because I tried so hard to be a good wife, even if I wasn't perfect), I'll be able to move forward and live well.
We had an argument he left came back a week later said we were through after 26yrs together. I was devastated that was 7 months ago I've since discovered he was cheating with a work colleague although he continues to deny but thd signs were all there constantly working late paying for me to go away family weekends nice gestures picked arguments.
When confronted he said he met her 3 weeks after we split up although I found pandora love charms bought for her. He s so angry with me cause ivtold his family what I've found out about him.
He s supporting me so I don't go after his pension he's being decent that way but I think its guilt money.
Think about him all the time that he's made a mistake he won't come pick up his belongings he left with no car I then had 2 think midlife crisis.
I have all sorts of scenarios in my head of what I want to say but he won't communicate I'm heart broken....narcissist perhaps !!!
I am in a similar situation. My husband and I have been married for 8 years. We have a family group on Life360. Not in a stalker-way, but I randomly got on there one day and saw he wasn't in the group. I also found that he deleted his facebook (or blocked me). I asked what was going on, and he brushed it off. We have a joking relationship, so we literally joked about it. Then he started acting somewhat angry. One day, he complained about our house. He said he hated our home, always had, and wanted to sell. I told him I didn't think it was about the home. I asked if his problem was with me. He said yes and that he had been considering divorce for a few months. That was in October. He insisted that he felt like our relationship was great at a wedding we attended in July. Either way, he put the blame completely on me and said a huge problem is that we both have trust issues. So I moved into the guest room. One week later, he told me that the reason was that we grew apart. One week after that, he scheduled a realtor to come look into selling our house. I've begged him to talk to me. Cried and screamed, honestly. Probably not the best way to go about things, but he hasn't shown remorse or any emotion whatsoever. I've accused him of never loving me and mentally checking out the relationship a long time ago... no response from him. I asked if there was someone else. He said no. Then he added a girl on instagram that he worked with 6 years ago that I made him stop interacting with because they were talking at all hours of the day. She's in a relationship, and I know there's nothing going on, but it hurt so much. I cry all the time. I just want communication from him and have no idea how to get it.
Oh Rachel I'm so sorry this all sounds so familiar the anger different rooms grown apart checked out long time ago but my anger is no longer about his affair ....he let me believe everything was OK intimate but distant till the day he walked out. He left every 1 of his possessions collected over 20 odd years. Every night and morning I have conversations in my head what I'm going to say to him....but sadly I can't...I feel sick when I watch TV and see many different places we ve visited and know he ll take her there he has already taken her to our fav hotel in the Highlands of Scotland and cry thinking of them together. People say I'm better off without him as he was emotionally cruel towards me but I can't get over this and don't know where to begin. I'm a young 65 Yr old and he was a recovering alcoholic of 5yrs I've never lived on my own and feel so lonely 😥
Not sure if this will post. My husband of 8 years left the other week and although things were drifting, he decided he had had enough. He came back the next day making promises telling me he couldn’t live without me and then a few days later things were not ‘brilliant’ enough for him. I new he was going to leave so I asked him to. He then told me a few days later he had started to see someone else and only met her at the weekend, you don’t use the term seeing someone if you met them at the pub. I have been very calm, collected but I’m dying inside. The waves of anxiety are awful.
I don’t want him back, I think eventually I’ll be happier but the way he done it and never explained or tried just shocks me, I thought I was more than that.
It just happened 5 days ago, and I know today that things were not ok between us. But I considered him as my best friend, it hurts so bad not having him around anymore. I've decides to move out , we are talking very normally with no fights, but now I feel alone in my sister's house at a place that it's not my house. The insecurities have arrived with full weight, and I don't know how to deal with it, my mind goes directly to think about him and how I miss his company. I'm very afraid to talk to him about this and lose the person I want by my side as my best friend. What do I do? And how do I deal with this pain?
I am so sorry to hear that. My husband told me he wanted to separate couple of months ago. He started the divorce proceedings on the 9th. I went through a roller coaster of emotions and I am still going through a roller coaster. Every day is a new day and each day is dominated by a different emotion. Going to work helps but then my ex husband who used to be my best friend also works there. So I try to schedule such that I dont have run ins.
How are you holding up?