I was with my husband for 22 years, married for 18.
we met when I was 22. He was 16 years older. I literally tried everything to make the marriage work and I couldn't take it anymore. He's still upset I left, I still very guilty and sad but I 100% could not make it work with him. He didn't treat me like a partner, and he wasn't homeschooling our kid like he said he was (I didn't find out until during COVID). And so many things about him/us were dysfunctional, and I feel like he constantly hid things from me or at least wasn't forthright; for example, he knew all my financial information and had the printouts of my W2's, investments, etc. but I never saw any of these things. And my 18 year old son is mad at me for leaving, but I just couldn't stay anymore. And it is so difficult.
Are you guys divorced now? The kids are the hardest part. They don't understand the ins and outs of your marriage and think we are taking the easy way out. There is nothing easy about walking away from a relationship. Best of luck to you on your journey. Hopefully as your son grows older, his experience with the world will soften his heart a little for you.