Hi, I’ve posted on here before and I am finally divorced from my husband after a very short separation. Our divorce was very quick and luckily we agreed on how to split things so it was all over very easily and quickly.
All I will say is, if you have hope of making things work with marriage counselling etc, then do it. It’s only been a month and I already have huge regrets about leaving. I see my mistakes and errors and how I could have been a better person if I had communicated more effectively. He loved me, a lot. He had his own issues (controlling behaviour, angry and unhappy personality, not social not family orientated). But I wish now I had stayed and worked harder on making things work instead of running and self sabotaging like I always do. Now I am needing to find someone else and honestly, I’ll probably never find someone as loyal. For all his personality faults that drove me crazy, he was a very loyal and hardworking person.
Just think before you leave, give it your all and realise emotional affairs are exactly that, and the grass is not always greener.
This is what I keep trying to explain to my husband who initiated the divorce 3 months ago and really wants it to be as quick and smooth as possible. I told him I wouldn’t fight in court and make it miserable for us both because he says he doesn’t love me anymore but I don’t believe him. Together 6 years, he asked me out 4 times and I kept saying no until finally I said yes and then we had a Disney fairytale marriage until covid hit.
I now realize my mistakes, thought it was all him the whole time until a few weeks ago and am dying for another chance a clean slate. Made a grand gesture to try to get one last shot and he said he appreciated it all and accepts my apology but he’s not changing his mind.
I think it’s a huge mistake and it hurts so much to know the problems I’ve caused and that it’s too late now. I can’t change his mind and I don’t think anything will except letting him go and hoping he realizes I’m a good loyal person who just went through a lot of trauma and didn’t take care of my mental health. No cheating, abuse, gambling, kids…nothing. We could reconcile so easily….I’m so sad.
I don't think it's as simple as all of that. People's (mine) feeling change, people change. Sometimes no matter how long you work at it you can't change the way you feel if the love you one felt is gone. I've been in marriage counseling for a really long time, over two years. Yes communication is better. We don't for like we used to. But love is only one sided. At what point do you call it. It's not easy.