I felt I had no choice. Had tried for 27yrs. Couldnt try any more. Unhealthy and abusive relationship. Not physical. But everything else. Moved to a new city that night. There is no going back. My bf asked me this which helped clarify things: what would you be going back to? To what?

I won’t be separating. We’ve talked divorce and because I haven’t been able to find employment for over a decade, let alone hold onto a job, and he’s much more monied than I could ever be, I get a modest biweekly allowance. Because he’s been the one paying all the bills, and no kids are involved, he’s adamant that the divorce be final after the year ends for his purposes of filing taxes with married filing jointly status.
I will be the one moving out, because I hate where he insisted that we live, this house is faulty in countless ways, and I found a new man, a job and a house waiting for me once I’m free.
So I had to do an inventory of what I take with me and what stays behind with him. Sadly, I will leave the animal here, because she’s old and not so healthy anymore, and it wouldn’t be fair to move her.
When my parents separated legally before their divorce became final, I stayed in our father’s house, while our mother and my sister moved out. So, the uprooting and deciding and eventually coming to an agreement on what stays and what goes was a very emotional experience. So much anger from him and really bad panic attacks for me.