I've been with my husband for 30 years, married for 28, separated now for 3 years. We have 3 amazing kids and recently have been spending time together again which is nice because he is my best friend.
We both contributed to the problems in our marriage but he was unfaithful at a time I wasn't emotionally or intimately available. Now that I know this I honestly don't know if it is something I could forgive and forget. How do I get past all that happened? I'm constantly back and forth between working it out and moving on.
I understand how you feel. If you’re both willing to get coaching and repair the relationship go for it. My husband has been dragging his heals for 2 years and runs when I pursue. When pressed he says we’re done so at this point we are finished. Everyday you choose to be married or not.
It may just be me. But I'm not sure I could ever trust someone after infidelity - no matter the circumstances. However, if you feel counseling could help. Then I encourage you to re-embrace your best friend. But you know what they say!
Trust is the biggest hurdle. We would have to start all over again. I don't know if I could or want to try again. Maybe just being friends is best. Or that's just me not wanting to get hurt again.
We are just taking it one day at a time and really enjoying each other's company. But I cannot get past the lack of trust. I'm expecting him to do the same things as before at every turn. We are going to start marriage counseling and I hope that helps. I want to believe we can make this work but I know I'm holding back a bit, just waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan again.
Thank you for the advice!