Womans Divorce Forum

Discuss your troubles, compare ex's, offer suggestions, and share stories!

Womans Divorce Forum
Start a New Topic 
I am not sure what to do

I have been with my husband for 16 years, but married 8. My husband has depression and anxiety. I try and help him when I can. He gets deep down in this rut and it's nasty. He blames me for everything (us not moving out of state when I first graduated college, buying myself a vehicle I needed, getting us stuck into apartments which we needed, blaming me for recusing a dog, not doing what it takes to relocate like living in the back of a vehicle for who knows how long). Well, things over the last year has gotten real nasty. Fights are happening all the time. He tells me he's looked into getting a divorce, just up and leaving, he can't stand me any more, I am bringing him down, I waisted his life just like his parents. I am starting to believe these words, but deep down I know they are not true. I support him in everything he does. I just don't know what to do here. I am starting to get disconnected with him. He doesn't say I love you anymore (and if he does, it's a forced one), we don't hold hands, were not intimate much, I need/want that. Is it time for a divorce? I am not sure how I can cope after being with someone for so long.

Re: I am not sure what to do

Sorry for confusion with us having the same name.
Have you and your husband tried couples therapy? It may help you to see if there is enough that is worth trying to save. I have decided that the fear of being alone is not a good reason to stay but only after realizing that I always knew I did not make the right choice in a partner in the first place.

Re: I am not sure what to do

I agree with Lee and consider therapy for you guys. I just know from my personal experience that when you know it’s time, you’ll know. However, I did question to stay or go for years before I knew it was happening now. I was with my spouse for 20 years so I totally get it with the long term relationship dilemma.

Re: I am not sure what to do

My spouse and I have been having issues, he's been cheating on me, well I thought until I actually confronted him and he kept denying any claims regarding that, so I hired an ethical hacker who helped me hack his phone, I wasn't trying to be bad or anything, I truly just wanted to know my place in our relationship and not be a fool for love. I came in contact with a certified hacker that helped with regard my request and found enough prove I needed to move. you can contact her via (hackqueen99@gmail. com)

Re: I am not sure what to do

I'm sorry that you are going through this.
Verbal and emotional abuse are never okay.

I would recommend couseling for the two of you and also for you by yourself. It helped me alot learn better ways to respond and not respond to the verbal abuse. I learned how to take back my power and not let him manipulate me.

If you don't think it'll get better, then I recommend consulting with an attorney. I waited too long, but I finally got out and am so happy living in peace and quiet.

My ex- finally went for the help and medication that he needed and now we get along much better, but I still don't have to live with him! :)

All the best!