Womans Divorce Forum

Discuss your troubles, compare ex's, offer suggestions, and share stories!

Womans Divorce Forum
Start a New Topic 
View Entire Thread
Re: I know I don't belong here...(male)

Im so sorry Chris I don't really know what to say to you except I wish my ex husband was a quarter of the man you are.together 45 years married 15.

4 kids together he didn't lift a finger with them..I worked outside the home to have medical and dental for the kids.He has been self employed construction he made good money but he spent it just as fast.

I started not feeling well in 2020 drs found nothing wrong my husband would feed on that and tell me i was a hypercondriate(cant even spell the word)..I always thought it was our era his control i got to researching in 2020 and found narcissist.

I even forgave him for that it was his childhood he started going thru what i call midlife crisis and if i didn't fall over his feet it wasn't good.I finally left my husband made at least 60k a year at the end

I ended up in a low income apt he ended up with a girlfriend a month after i left we hadn't even started separation more or less divorce my state is no fault.He was ordered to pay temporary alimony he did for 3 months at our final hearing he brought a drs letter saying he was diagnosed with Parkinsons

No dr explanation he couldn't work and im on disability the final papers gave him almost everything we had which wasn't much and stopped alimony judge said he couldn't work anymore

He turned my daughter's against me my sons don't speak to him or their sisters now.I had a legal aid lawyer and he managed to mess that up. Now im in appeal our final order said for him to give me the rest of my property but he told me i gave that up when I continued to ask for alimony.

Now hes playing the victim and saying i made his life hell.I stopped eating i can't sleep I've been at the crisis unit i just can't believe a man can do this.I feel so bad for you your wife should be happy you were even involved with the kids she doesn't sound like a nice person and i hope you find happiness after..Hopefully the courts won't give her what she wants

Re: I know I don't belong here...(male)

I think your wife might be stressed out with family staying there. Her sister is also in her ear possibly causing her to feel insecure. Your wife might need some reassurance from you that you’re not going anywhere. Was there romance in the beginning of your relationship? If so, you can slowly start to recapture that. It sounds like it’s fixable and you’re not done.

Re: I know I don't belong here...(male)

Personally I would like to thank you for your comment. Being female doesn’t always make us right. It isn’t’ a gender thing but a persons character and ethics that matters. I went through a divorce after being married 43 years. The process took 4 years however we had Covid during that time. I live in CA USA so laws are probably different. It was pretty cut and dry. You can do some research on divorce law where you live. You might even want to consult with an attorney. I respect you want to allow your in-laws to finish their visit in peace and not drag them into you marriage issues. You may need to just have a frank conversation with each other before you make drastic moves. It will be every hard on your children. Whether or not you mean to the kids get dragged into it. Perhaps marriage counseling first. Mine was supposed to be a friendly divorce. It didn’t, stay that way long. You sound like the kind of man we would all like to have as a husband. I hope you can work this out with your wife. If not protect yourself legally.

Re: I know I don't belong here...(male)

Hi Chris,

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Maybe she's just scared of how she will get by on her own. Maybe she's been talking too much to other women.

My ex- and I had a very amicable divorce, both our boys were over 18, so no child support to worry about. We split everything 50/50; divided the house equitably. He does pay me alimony because I mainly worked part-time in order to be home more and take care of the children, but we came up with a figure that we could both live with. Hopefully you can do the same.

We still spend time together, do things together, help each other out, etc. I was so suprised the negative comments I get from people- that they can't believe I get along with my ex-. Aren't we "supposed" to be fighting, mad at each other, etc.

Maybe she's buying into the assumptions and comments from others that "she's supposed to stick it to you", etc.

I would suggest that you consult with an attorney and find out what the laws are where you live and what you are entitled to. Also, can the two of you talk it out, go see a counselor together?

I will tell you that our boys are very grateful that we all get along. The four of us spend holidays/birthdays/family dinners together. They have actually told us that they are glad we get along. It will be so much better for your children if both of you can do this amicably and I hope she sees that.

All the best!

Re: I know I don't belong here...(male)

Thanks for the replies. I could not find the forum again until recently.

I'm doing research, I'm in western Canada as I don't think I mentioned it.

Mother in law took very ill a few days after my post so things have been hectic at home. Tried to talk to my wife but it went no where.