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Re: Hubby cheated, made a baby, child is 11 now wants her to live with us

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

First question, do you want a divorce? Would you be happier living on your own without him?

Would you want a separation and have him move out into his own place where he would be free to raise his child?

If you choose to stay married to him, then that is a deliberate choice. If you stay married, then I would think he could bring his child into his home. Sucks I know.

If you choose to stay with him, then before he brings the child into the home I would insist on ground rules. Maybe go back to your counselor and work together on expectations.
He is to take primary responsibility for the child, he is not to take his anger out on you, etc.

Lay out ground rules and expectations and STICK TO THEM!
Hold your ground whatever you decide and stay strong.

If you choose to help with this child, then you could be her greatest blessing. It sounds like she has two questionable parents.

Good luck!

Re: Hubby cheated, made a baby, child is 11 now wants her to live with us

I can’t tell you what to do, but I almost guarantee that he will act the way he has acted towards his own children, and you may end up with the lion’s share of the work.

It is a shame for the child, but best she not feel your resentment… I would think about perhaps living without ur husband. He sounds like a selfish nightmare. That poor child. I wish the best for you and for her.