Clare - your situation resonated with me. My husband recently shared with me after being together for 30 years and married for 28 years that he wants a divorce and no interest in marriage counseling or working on reconnection. I have two sons ages 21 and 22 who are finishing college. They are both at key stages before graduation and I am concerned about disruption to their lives, but know they need to be told soon. I have asked my husband to wait to tell them until we can all be together in same city same room. He would like to simply tell them “ we have decided to divorce”. If they ask me I would like them to know that their father wants to divorce , but that I don’t. I would prefer to work on our marriage, but that divorce will still happen. That either way we will both love and support them through life. . My friends tell me that this view is more about me and not about my kids. Not sure what the “right way” is to talk this through with them.. if someone has been through this with young adult children I would also like to hear their advice for Clare.