Discuss your troubles, compare ex's, offer suggestions, and share stories!
26 years together and now we’re separated. He changed and is not the person I married. I keep hoping the man I married wakes up. I miss that person so much. I’m terrified. I’ve been so depressed lately. I keep breaking down and crying. I feel hopeless and overwhelmed. I just needed to get that out.
26 years is a long time, of course you are emotional and overwhelmed! You are missing the person you married and grieving the life you thought you would continue to have together. Are you in therapy for yourself? I have started therapy because there are so many layers of things to deal with.
Thank you. I just stopped therapy bc it wasn’t a good fit. I’m going to get another therapist. I’m considering joining a divorce/separation group that meets weekly in person. I haven’t yet because every day, I am worn out physically and mentally. I don’t want to make another decision. I’m going through some health issues on top of this and my body is hurting. Everything hurts. I’m usually very positive, but right now, I’m digging as deep as I can to just keep going. When does this phase get better?
I’m going through something very similar to you. 30 years of marriage and it’s done. My entire world is flipped upside down. I’m depressed and exhausted from waking up in tears every couple of hours during the night. I also have a couple of autoimmune issues and I’m terrified of a flare up from being so stressed, I just want the rawness and pain to go away. My therapist has really been there for me and I’m so grateful for that. It’s very important to have support from a professional and as much support from friends and family as you can. I’m waiting for better days, praying for them actually. Same question - when does it get better?
I am right there with you. I wake up nightly, too. Last night, I had a panic attack at 1am and then just sobbed. I stayed home today.
I’m sorry you’re going through this too. I’m glad you have good support. I’m trying to figure things out so I have things in place so I can move, etc. I’m overwhelmed. I think I’m having decision fatigue.
If you don’t mind sharing, what is your (ex)partner’s story? Mine is in a midlife crisis, I believe. Hell on wheels.
Hi Jes, I can totally understand the feeling of being paralyzed and not being able to just put one foot in front of the other. It was super hard for me, I think if i did not have an 8 year old depending on me I don't think I would have moved for a long time.
I am sorry that the therapist was not a good match. But that is important to feel comfortable with them.
I am actually launching a membership to help women worth through this time. If you want to know more please reach out to me. If you have instagram find me a Heavy_Pages_Podcast. or email me at HeavyPagesPodcast . c o m
Thank you. I will look up your podcast. I listen to Podcasts nightly.
I have 2 kids. They are the reason I am still here and functioning.
I feel my husband has changed a lot over the past few years due to his depression and has said things to me that I feel are unforgivable. I am trying to keep it together for the sake of my 13 year old son. I am not in love with him anymore and I don't think he will consider couples therapy although I would as a last ditch effort. I am beginning to plan things out for the next year; it is difficult living with him knowing how I feel and that I want to end the marriage. It is helpful to join a forum like this. Thank you.
Hang in there, it’s gets better. I still struggle here and there at night but every day gets a teeny bit better. I was married for 20 years and I am in the middle of the divorce process. Should be finalized soon. This is a time to gather your support system of friends and family as well as finding a good therapist. One day at a time!
Thank you. I’ve shared what’s going on with some of the people around me. I’ve been hesitant to share because I kept thinking things would work out. I’ve been denying that this was really happening. Lately, it’s been hitting me more. The stages of grief are real.