I’m so broken. Although I’ve tried to help in the forum under a pseudonym, this is my first plea for help. Okay, I’ve been married for 22 years. We’ve had our good & bad times. We had been living with relatives to save for a home for our family. My husband was working from home & a few months ago confessed to one of my relatives that he is in love with a cam girl who performs for large tips. He has left. His credit cards are at least $90,000 in debt now. Before when I’d ask he said oh we owe like $3,000 this month. He also had a secret credit card.
After he left one of my teens helped me get on his computer. The pics of the young girl from another country were on there. Also, numerous alcohol bottles under his desk, etc. I’ve tried to remain calm and felt the only way he could see his kids would be in a public place with me. So I put on a smile and he’s only seen them a few times. He’s also ignoring his debt, won’t tell us where he lives and claims he can’t pay us much.
I lost it this last time because he told us he’d pay us more and then is only giving us half.He demands to know how I’m spending the money which is ironic considering he was tipping this cam model $500 a pop & even Western Union her money for a ring & other gifts. I have been a SAHM for over 17 years & also now have health issues. He told me I should just get a job.
My problem: it’s a community property state and all I’m reading is they will come after the spouse for debt -and I will never pay for this never. I want to do a simple divorce (there are 2 counties here where you send in paperwork & if you both agree to the terms yay you’re divorced). But, if he doesn’t pay his debts the divorce decree doesn’t matter - the creditors will get me. Plus, I don’t want him alone with my kids because the last time he drove me before we split he was swerving a lot plus he’s a sexual deviant. In addition to the cam girl he’s admitted to being on dating sites and helping out a prostitute. I also believe his boss would pay him part cash just to help him hide money so he doesn’t have to pay us. I just want this over. To put it bluntly…it’s like my husbands soul left and another soul took over it’s awful. I’m in tears. I’m at a loss. I would’ve stayed with him forever, now I’m regretting marrying him at all. That’s a guilt trip in itself I love my kids so much and they wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t married him. How does anyone ever deal with something like this?