I totally hear you both. Here’s another victim of being in a marriage with poor communication where my husband’s frustrations were never discussed or very rarely discussed and definitely not at the intensity of it ever leading to a divorce. But 7 years later, the rug was pulled off from beneath my feet and I was in shock. After reading your stories, i feel a little less alone and im kinda convinced - it’s not us. It’s them.
I agree with everything you said. My marriage suffered from lack of communication, he went from being distant to not leaving me alone. I eventually brought up divorce as I saw that after so many years of trying, nothing was going to change. My only regret is now all the wasted years of trying and hoping for change. I can walk away knowing I did all I could. He won’t be able to do the same.