AJB I'm sorry you're going through this but things will indeed get better. Actually divorce can be a blessing in disguise. Please don't blame your behavior on pushing him away. He's the weak minded fool. Marriage is supposed to be for better or worse. And if you were going through depression, he should have been man enough to help you through it instead of choosing to have an affair! As I stated in a previous post, I married the wrong person the first time around and if I hadn't been the victim of date rape, there's no way in hell I ever would have married him since he wasn't my type physically and certainly not mentally. When I think about it, I should have filed an annulment the first Christmas when he made a complete fool of himself on national television showing his desperate need for attention. Anyway, he wasn't man enough to give me a divorce when I brought it up in the 3rd or 4th year of that contract marriage. Instead he denied it. I was actually relieved when he finally began having an affair because it meant I wouldn't have to sleep with him. Thankfully there were no children involved either. I went into depression after being forced to relocate to a backwards town in the middle of no where in CA. My physician had said that anti depressants wouldn't help because the depression was circumstancial. So one day I had to force myself to think about what was making me so depressed. It was horrifying for me to realize that I was depressed from marrying someone I didn't love and could never love. He became more abusive when he began his affair and I found myself happier about divorcing him than I was on that wedding day. As for him and his mistress, trash is like water: it finds its own level. The only way he could find someone interested in him was to lie on his profile about his height, claim to own a Porsche and get a 300 lb. like his mother. Today I'm happily married to a wonderful man who comes from a good family and we have beautiful children together. The same can happen for you. Your soon to be ex is now the other so called woman's nightmare. And prayer works!! There are times when fasting and prayer is an even better solution!