My husband asked me for a divorce the other day after I confronted him about a ton of VoIP numbers & short codes on his cell phone bill. He let me look at his phone and inside of his hidden purchases on the App Store was a little golden folder called my private life or something, but it immediately dissapeared and he of course gaslit me into thinking I’m insane by screaming at me. This was the beginning of my 5 day journey of sleepless nights obsessively trying to find the truth and what I found was way worse than I expected. For months leading up to this there has been so many suspicious things he’s done like his search history showing how to hack an iPhone, how to secure your cell phone, vpn, files, etc. I would up doing an extremely deep dive into FB, Insta, Pinterest, Twitter, literally all the social media platforms you can imagine. Pulled background checks too. What I found is that his email accounts and names (or variation of) are all tied to every dating profile there is, bitcoin sites, random numbers registered to him, hundreds of emails and usernames and aliases. It looks like he’s been up to whatever this is for years but I think he got involved in something much worse recently. I stumbled across ads for sex trafficking and just terrible things. I thought maybe he had been hacked and didn’t know or clicked a bad link. I told him all of this and he screamed I hate you and spit on me and asked for a divorce. He called two criminal defense attorneys yesterday and I’ve been receiving threats from random strangers online. I called the authorities and let the appropriate people know so I can protect myself if they try to frame me for something. He is also in IT and codes, so he’s good at what he does. But despite all of it, I keep second guessing myself and I can’t function. I lost 10 pounds in a weeks time and have slept for maybe an entire day over this time period. I’m so heart broken that after 17 years together and 15 today as this is our anniversary, that I never knew this man and none of it was real. I still love him though and I don’t know why. I want to hate him, but I can’t. This is the worst pain I have ever been in. How do you get past this and move on? It feels like I’m dying.