Both of your stories resonate with me. 6 weeks ago, my husband also told me he wants a divorce from our 18 years together. I believe he has been depressed for a long time and hasn't felt a sense of purpose or masculinity. Every reason he gave for divorce completely demonized me. Even though all of us ladies know we have held our families together and are willing to work on our marriages, we cannot because our partners are unwilling. It causes such self doubt, feelings of low self worth, and a loss of control. I am trying to remember that it takes two to fix a marriage. I am trying to get out of my head and trying to read his mind. I am trying not to read into every behavior to see something that isn't there. I am trying not to hope. It is day by day on this emotional roller coaster. I am reading "No one Ever Dies From Divorce " and it is helping me to understand my emotions. Hang in there ladies. We will get through this and be stronger on the other side. THIS i can hope for.