Sorry he's putting you through this. My advice is to seek therapy and get help with understanding you are not responsible for what he is threatening. You should not stay in an unhealthy and unhappy situation as toxic as this is. He is manipulating you and that is not okay. Plan your exit with a lawyer and a therapist. You cannot control what he does to himself but I would bet it's more talk to keep you trapped and remember he is not concerned with how he treats you or your kids. Focus on your needs and your kids, it's amazing how much lightee you'll feel when you dump the dead weight he's put into you. As women we tend to put others first and that can be taken advantage of unfortunately by the very person we thought we could trust.

Consider taking more control of your finances. If you are the only one working, why is he deciding who to lend money to? I also think the fact that he’s unemployed is the key to his depression—he’s lost his purpose. While it’s important to take care of you, helping him get a job will help his self esteem, lighten your load and ensure you’re not on the hook for spousal support.