I cheated on my husband of 19 years due to his emotional and verbal abuse. I also felt neglected. I have tremendous guilt for initiating the divorce as my soon-to-be ex-husband says we could have worked through things. When he found out about the then emotional affair, he was disgusted, and livid (rightfully so). I naively assumed that we would be able to move past the hurt and begin healing, however I felt he could not stop berating me for the affair. Long story short, I don’t know if I should have stayed and continued to try and work on things. For many years he explained the reason he was verbally and emotionally abusive to me is because “I made him behave that way”. I want the guilt of initiating the divorce to end. Does anyone have any advice for me?

Yes, it sounds like it was a good thing you guys are divorcing. If you ever find yourself in a similar position do not cheat because it will make you feel worse in the end and give them more ammo to use in saying you're horrible. Nobody can "make" another person act a certain way. Abuse is abuse. Being on the end of being abused can make people do things they are not proud of. Forgive yourself and move forward with healing. Get yourself mentally in to a position where you won't be in another relationship like this. Definitely continue with the divorce. He is not taking any ownership for his own actions. Don't be looking for who is at fault though. Just say "It didn't work and we're not good for eachother" then move forward.

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