I have been married for 14 years, no kids. My husband is emotionally and verbally abusive at times, he has thrown things and blocked me from leaving. I have called a shelter I was told they couldn't help me due to my husband being in law enforcement and they were concerned for the well being of the other residents. We own a home together but he does not want to sell, I am ready to throw in the towel and walk away but do not want to get screwed financially any more than I have to. I can't really afford an attorney either. Does anyone have any advice or ideas? I appreciate any suggestions.
Re: Any advice for getting out of a abusive marriage?
Hi Jen,
I totally understand what you are going through. I too experienced the verbal abuse that at times became mildly physical. I have been married 13 years a had one child from the marriage. Honestly, for peace of mind, I walked away (after doing all i could do to make him happy and begging him to stop the verbal use) before he completely diminished my confidence and self esteem. My husband disregarded all of my concerns until the moving boxes appeared and i started packing. When the reality set in he began to spiral, begging for me to stay and spells of rage appeared stronger. I had to choose myself this time. After my daughter and I moved, he was so devastated that he sought counseling, but in that he would still get angry everytime he saw me. He started talking to other women, while supposedly working on himself to repair the marriage. I am on month 2 since I moved and it is hard to just process so many emotions at a single time. If you know you cannot stay, make a move now before the abuse gets worst. If he is willing to seek counseling, try it before moving because the right counselor can bring out the root cause of his anger. It doesnt sound like its you. It just may be something you do unknowingly that triggers a past trauma for him. Divorce laws are tricky, so it depends on your state how fast you can dissolve the marriage. Expensive, Yes, but cheaper if you can both agree to a divorce amicably without contesting anything on either side. And if he chooses not to sell, he can refinance to get you off the loan or get attorney paperwork to get you off the deed if you are not on the loan. I hope this helps, and best luck!
Re: Any advice for getting out of a abusive marriage?
Hi Jen, I wrote the below reply to another lady as well but I think the same may apply to you. I hope this helps!
Firstly, I'm so sorry you've been going through this, no one deserves to be mistreated in what was supposed to be a loving relationship. Know that you deserve to be loved, to be treated well and to be happy.
1. Create an exit plan - organise your finances, find a place to live and pack the things you want to take with you. Then search online for the lawyer you need to make a clean break and start the proceedings when you have finances etc. in order.
2. Talk to your nearest and dearest - let them know what is going on and be honest and open with them. You might be surprised to find they will be supportive of your decision and act as a support network for you. And if not, then you know who will be there for you and who won't. Cut the ones who won't help and support you out of your life, you don't need people like that around you.
3. Talk to other women who have been through the same thing, it really helps to know what others have been through so you know you're not alone, believe me there is a lot of comfort to be found in shared experiences and comraderie. You can join a support group, start a coffee morning, whatever you need to surround yourself around others who understand you.
It's going to be a long road ahead, but YOU CAN DO IT. Your marriage sounds like it's been the hardest part. But this stage will be a relief once you start it and get going. You must do what is right for you and just know that you WILL be happy again. When you've been verbally and physically abused, there is no way back. Your mind, body and soul will make the decision for you.
Re: Any advice for getting out of a abusive marriage?
Within the realm of academic support, our Pay Someone to Take My TEAS Exam service stands as a beacon of reliability and security, meticulously crafted to facilitate remote exam-taking for students. By enlisting our assistance, you not only guarantee a seamless academic journey but also access a trusted partner committed to ensuring your educational endeavors are characterized by convenience and peace of mind.
