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Second time divorce and no courage to go through it

Hi all I am here to hear some soothing words to get that courage to have second divorce.

I married the second time with someone with 2 teen kids in hopes that I will have a matured man and with his 2 kids my family would be complete. My first marriage lasted 10yrs with my ex taking my son away from me. This second guy was already obsessed with his coworker which I didn't had the slightest knowledge about. He would bring her up in every conversation and even talks to her every single day. We had several fights over this with his explanation being she updates him about office gossips daily. But they know far more about each other than just the gossips since they know each other for many years. We women are gifted with an instinct and its never wrong. I knew something was wrong right from the beginning.

Long story short I don't have the courage to stay in this relationship nor to go through second divorce. I feel life will be a stigma and I might sink into depression. Not sure if I would ever find a life partner who would accept my divorces.

Re: Second time divorce and no courage to go through it

Siaka
Hi all I am here to hear some soothing words to get that courage to have second divorce.

I married the second time with someone with 2 teen kids in hopes that I will have a matured man and with his 2 kids my family would be complete. My first marriage lasted 10yrs with my ex taking my son away from me. This second guy was already obsessed with his coworker which I didn\'t had the slightest knowledge about. He would bring her up in every conversation and even talks to her every single day. We had several fights over this with his explanation being she updates him about office gossips daily. But they know far more about each other than just the gossips since they know each other for many years. We women are gifted with an instinct and its never wrong. I knew something was wrong right from the beginning.

Long story short I don\'t have the courage to stay in this relationship nor to go through second divorce. I feel life will be a stigma and I might sink into depression. Not sure if I would ever find a life partner who would accept my divorces.
P.S.- Both men i married to showed narcissistic traits. I didn't knew the first one had those severe overt narcissistic traits until I read about it after our divorce. The second one I married to had covert narcissistic traits which I ignored the red flags thinking not all narcissist are the same and some do work towards making relationships work and I was so wrong. They NEVER change nor do they take any accountability of their failures.

My family is furious about marrying this second guy and the way he's not working towards making this marriage work. They are annoyed with me too as I will be second time divorced.

Re: Second time divorce and no courage to go through it

OMG I am so sorry you’re family isn’t being more supportive about this. You deserve better! Narcissistic abuse is real and they are very sneaky. Don’t blame yourself, forgive yourself and do yourself a favor - move on. You got this!!

Re: Second time divorce and no courage to go through it

Hi Siaka
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I totally relate to understanding they’re narcissists after it’s over. It’s so revolting and upsetting. It seems like they’re were using you the whole time. I hope you’re able to heal as aspects of your life.
About the second marriage, I also understand what’s like to notice a strange behavior pattern and try to make excuses for them, trying to convince yourself that things are not as bad as they seem.
The first step is to give yourself grace and forgive yourself. It takes time. We feel so guilty… but only after you’re able to forgive yourself for not knowing better, or other choices we made, well we be able to forgive other and move on.
I hope this helps.
Take good care of yourself.

Re: Second time divorce and no courage to go through it

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