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My best friend just finalized her divorce, my husband and I are in the middle of ours. I had my best friend's back throughout her whole divorce, even getting in her ex's face chewing him out about making her cry. But my divorce... Not so much. For reasons not to be discussed here, she told me she was staying neutral. I understood to an extent at the beginning, but I'm sorry, I need my best friend right now. I can't help but want to run to her when I'm miserable as she did with me when she was.
She became friends with my ex's best friend, and that is where lines get blurry.
She joined a rec sports team that both men were on, that I was specifically not allowed to join bc of the pending divorce. Her excuse, his best friend invited her but she didn't know my ex would be on the team. Call me naive but it ALMOST made sense. I asked her to keep in mind that pretty much where one is, the other would be too. I wasn't ever allowed to go watch her play because he didn't want me there because he was trying to have his own thing. Blurred lines.
Fast forward to different sport rec team that all 4 of us have been on. I find out my ex formed his own team because I was trying to stay on the team we all were on. Something itched my mind and I looked at my best friend and said "please tell me you did not join that team." She gave me the same excuse, his best friend invited her and she didn't know my ex would be there. I called bull on her, to her face, this time. This sport was the guys' favorite sport. They have played together on almost every single team for years. There is absolutely no way she should have thought he wouldn't be there.
We haven't been the same since. At times I feel bad because she has told me she was trying to get out and do more. I really get that one, problem is... Why did she have to pick this one??? We talk time to time but it feels like pulling teeth talking to her and it honestly looks like avoidance. I can't get an answer about 75% of the time. And that isn't blowing her up. That could be sending a texted question one day, a call another. More than likely unanswered.
I have had other friends reach out to me because they saw my best friend and my ex arrive somewhere together. They ended up meeting teammate from the 1st rec team but my friends honestly couldn't tell if my best friend and ex just happen to run into their teammates or if it was an intentional meet up. Then there is the question of them arriving together. Do you want to know how awkward it is to have someone ask you why they saw my best friend hanging out with my to be ex? And then I can't answer bc I had no idea.
She and I have been best friends for around 25 years so I keep finding myself trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and kot jump to conclusions but they are making it so hard to do so.
Hmmm… got an idea Tell your best friend a made-up secret about your to be ex. Like something off the wall (Like he got a new tattoo or he called you and wants you back badly, who cares make it up)
and tell her to please keep it an absolute secret. See if “the secret” gets back around to you. If it does I think you’ll have your answer. It might be time to find a new best friend
I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
Doesn't sound like a best friend to me- might be time to
let her go and move on.
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