I going through the same thing but without children. I am going on week 2 of a separation, process of divorce. I think my husband is on the lower end of the narcissist spectrum but he’s also a religious narcissist. Right now he his playing nice but he’s love bombing me with the hopes I come back, like I have always done in the past. I have done a lot of research and now know that they will never change. I too have lost myself and my purpose over the years. Thankfully I started some therapy earlier this year that got me mentally prepared to finally make the move to leave, and actually follow through with it. We were married 16 years and suddenly he took a radical change and became super religious. Now I am being accused of abandoning him, yet at the same time he “wants to take care of me forever” lol, which is just a trigger. I wish you the best during this transition in your life. I don’t have much advice since I’m new to this divorce thing myself, but finally taking to attorney gave me a sense of direction. Stay strong my friend, as that’s the best we can do during these times. I hope you have someone to talk to when you need them.
married less than a year and i am divorcing now. I too think my husband has borderline personality. The anger rages are so sudden and uncalled for (wanted to watch the ball drop on new years couldn't get remote to work so he threw remote and started yelling making me feel like it was my fault- i rang in the new year alone and in tears). It goes on from there.( got curd out on the plan to my honeymoon when he did somthing wrong) i too became depressed and went on medications thinking it was me who could not handle life. IT IS NOT. no matter how hard this will be i am moving on . i need freedom. i need my REAL smile back. I have been putting on a facade for 11 months.