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I am recently divorced since April 2023. He luckily agreed due to financial issues to keep the courts out of it and seek out a mediator. We negotiated and finalized everything. I was officially divorced and couldn’t be happier! I wanted it because I knew that I had a right to be happy and be loved. I ended up having to pay him spousal support for 30 months on to of a hefty monthly pymt for our house for 12 months. He wanted to sell but I wanted to keep it. Didn’t matter that I bought it and the deed was in my name, you buy when married, it’s joint property (gotta K-LOVE our government 🙄).
So I’ve recently been feeling like the end of all this and the financial burden is a million light years away. I picked up a second job and work almost 7 days a week. We have two boys we share joint custody with (teen years). So I find myself now wondering, was it better to stay in an u healthy marriage just to have this weight lifted off me? I know in my heart the answer to that but these waves of wondering did I make the right choice is alot to handle.
I know it was long but thank you for taking the time to read it.
I understand it can be hard but you got out of a marriage where you weren't getting what you know you deserve. You should be proud of yourself! You've did what I want to do so badly. I hope you find complete love and happiness.
Hi Bella. I’m recently separated after 30 years of marriage and the ups and downs are a real struggle for me too. Maybe for the same or different reasons, not sure. Our relationship was broken and I know this is for the best, it doesn’t make it any easier to move forward. I can have days of feeling thankful it’s ended and then all of a sudden it hits me and I’m an emotional mess thinking about the what could have been. Even though I know it never would I still hold on to those thoughts. I know my reply isn’t much help to you I’m hoping someone else might
Oh my goodness. You said it right I’ve been married 35 years and he wants this quick quick. He’s agreed to everything I want because I truly feel he wants out of the marriage. I have the same ups and downs. I have some days that I’m OK or I might get mad, any other days or I can’t stop crying because like you said of what could’ve been even though I know that we weren’t happy aren’t happy and worried about what our future would be like when we’re not agreeable but I wanted to work on it and he doesn’t . My whole point of this is a no what you’re talking about after he told me the next two weeks I was a basket case and four weeks later I still am.
That is me exactly. I have days that I know it’s the best thing he treated me terribly and it won’t get any better but I didn’t think what if? And then other days like you said I’m a complete mess I can’t do anything.
Divorce is also a grieving process. It is the end of a relationship that was not supposed to end. Some days will be good and then you will have days were you want to cry standing in the supermarket. I remind myself that not to think of how my marriage should be or should have been but the reality of it. And the reality was not good. Hope this helps.
I’m in the same place. Looking at getting a divorce from my husband of 25 years because I have felt overlooked, unwanted and dismissed for many of them. I feel like he doesn’t want to get close or touch me. I too am wondering if it’s better to stay in an unhappy marriage for security and financial reasons or go out on my own. I’m so scared. I have lots of ups and downs and feel like I’m going insane. Not much of an answer but I don’t want you to feel alone.
Married 36 years, miserable for 10 years. Just this week he told me not to touch his money he's been saving last 10 years instead of investing any more!!! So there's 22,000 he said all his cuz it was taken out of his check! I told him I'm sick of all the fairness that we even care about each other and he is worried about losing money if we got a divorce!
Depending on your state, anything you acquire during your marriage is split 50-50, and that includes assets and debts
Just remember one thing, depending what state you live in that money is half yours also👍
Couldn't agree more. Nicely said.