I am so sorry for the pain you are going through! Sending you a big hug! I am dealing with the same feelings after 28 years of marriage. It is truly unbearable!

I am 65 and I was the one that decided to end the marriage, he’s a narcissist has no empathy doesn’t value me so the situation is different. However, instead of being sad, which, of course you are try to be mad and have that empower you to move ahead in your life you are still young, I’m not saying it’s easy but maybe if you look at it from that point of view of being mad instead of sad that might help😤 Also, let your emotions out cry as much as you want to even though I wanted it I have these emotions that I don’t know what they’re all about. I guess it’s all a part of the process.