So there it is, I put up with him breaking every boundary I have for 10+ years, investing into him, building him up, helping him in his career, with his mental health, creating good habits, only for him to finally snap over the dumbest issue and decide it's not worth doing anything we agreed. Following 0 boundaries, 0 respect, and just deciding that me wanting to talk instead of ignoring it and "moving on" is me being controlling and wanting everything "my way". I am an embarrassment, begging him to talk to me, following him, trying to convince him to keep all his promises.

Just yesterday he told me he was getting a wedding ring tattoo. The worst part is that we have tried for years now, and he agreed he had to work on things and never not once asked me to change my behavior. Aside from petty things per fight. Throughout couples therapy, him seeing an individual therapist, all that ever came out if it, was he needed to learn to get in touch with his emotions and communicate, and he convinced me he was changing and getting better. We stopped the therapy and it's just been broken promise after broken promise. And after all that, he continued to promise and say he would always try no matter what, no more stonewalling and walking away for indefinite periods of time. But after all our promises, and literally 50k we will lose in a house down payment, and me asking him, "are you sure this is what you want" every step of the way, and 0 asks from him on what behavior he needs from me to do differently or change, one dumb fight and he's done. Doesn't care that I'm hurt like he promised, refuses to see anything except me being dramatic, and since I will never compromise on trying to have validation and respect, I'm controlling. Well played narc, well played.

Just feeling sad and pathetic for still wanting him in my life when he says to my face he doesn't care, and believing that is just the anger talking. And sick to my stomach and just in shock that he hasn't walked it back, especially when our relationship is better than ever as a whole. Despite him denying all my feelings, we had fun together, a good life, and I had convinced myself he did love me and would try forever like he said. How wrong a person can be. We don't have kids and I am just so scared of losing my best friend and all his threats of moving across the country, and never seeing him again, not being able to talk to him about my life. Every hope and dream just gone in an instant. And he is just sitting there, not thinking about any of this, ready and willing to break my heart forever, giving 0 ****s.

I am very sorry for what you are going through. The toughest part of all of this is losing your best friend, the one person that you talk to about everything. Still, if he told you he is done, then he is. As painful as it is, you need to continue your life. It will be hard, but you will make it. His reaction is not coming from one little thing, he has been bottling things up and, instead of discussing all of them, exploded over the simmple one. Some people go to therapy, but more to be told they are right or convince themselves they tried than to actually put in the work.

I relate to the above answer my nars husband was done and blamed all on me I grieve everyday I actually wish I didn't divorce but have to move on good luck with your situation

I also married a nar. This was all about manipulation. No boundaries, verbal and emotional abuse, i was always the problem and he wasn't. I believed that for 14 years of our relationship until a light bulb went off. I poured into him like never before and didn't get it back. I walked around on egg shells not wanting to make him mad where it would lead to weeks sometimes months of silent treatment under the same roof. Mentally I'm prepared to let go but I understand emotionally its going to take some time. He was my bff, my only friend, he was a big part of my daily routine. He's threathen to divorce me 3-4 times and even moved out twice. Instead of my traditional response saying its my fault and I'll do better, I had to force myself to say ok, because thr is nothing else more I can do to prove my love to him. He asked for a divorce over something beyond small and petty and said it was the straw that broke the camel's back. This is so you know, you are not alone. Your story is too familiar.