I've been with my husband since 2009. It started out as only to be a one night stand. I wasn't ready for a relationship after going through a divorce. He pursued me Non stop. I figured this may be my sign to open up again. After a while we became exclusive and moved in together after six months. He was everything I possibly could have dreamed of. After only two years there were so many ups and downs. That I left and went back to my mother's. He came cried and apologized. I went back. After the course of a year or two I lost my mother to cancer and my father to a heart attack. I suffered a major car accident where I became a left arm amputee. Multiple surgeries to repair damages. During this whole time he was nothing but an ass. Complained about how me being out of work is Hurting us financially. He was not a very supportive or loving person. And always he would apologize and come back. After my recent trauma with the car accident I went into depression. I felt I had nowhere to go after losing my parents. He had total control over everything. He made me believe the only way to adopt his daughter was to get married. Like a fool I believed him and we got married. Unbeknowance to me that was not the truth. After a while I became to understand that he was a true narcissist. He does nothing in the household but bring home a paycheck. I cook I clean I do laundry I cut grass. I do errands etc... I work in 42hr weekly job. I am to the point now where I want a divorce. I've tried so many times to express my feelings and emotions. He wants to hear none of it. I am terrified and scared of the ramifications if I go through with this. We both work for the same employer. But I do know if I go to h r that he would not be allowed to come into my department. That helps me in my work but outside of work is terrifying. He is very pretty vindictive and malicious. I have a separate bank account to where i've been saving money. I've set up a storage unit where I have slowly started moving personal belongings. A friend advice me on getting a locking gas cap. Any other advice would be greatly appreciated thank you.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Go to a lawyer so they can help you map a strategy. Start gathering information, such as tax records, copy of W-2, pay stubs, house and car payments, etc. Move little things he won't notice and leave the most valuable to you for when you leave. Plan your escape route, where to go to, who will help you and when. Discuss with the lawyer the possibility of getting a restraining order if you believe he might harm you.
I am praying for you sister! Many of your statements resemble my own life at certain points. This is truly hard and very much unfair to women who are as nice and caring and humble as we are. I have been sad for the last several years and need to make changes in my own life; maybe soon! But during your calm and level-headed times, please take the advice that has been given; make copies of your most important papers; slowly purge your house of extra items; save money in a place where it cannot be found by him; talk with a lawyer (many give you one free session); allow yourself to grieve....its ok; think logistically....and pray for God's guidance, he does not want to see you unhappy.