I've been with my husband since 2009. It started out as only to be a one night stand. I wasn't ready for a relationship after going through a divorce. He pursued me Non stop. I figured this may be my sign to open up again. After a while we became exclusive and moved in together after six months. He was everything I possibly could have dreamed of. After only two years there were so many ups and downs. That I left and went back to my mother's. He came cried and apologized. I went back. After the course of a year or two I lost my mother to cancer and my father to a heart attack. I suffered a major car accident where I became a left arm amputee. Multiple surgeries to repair damages. During this whole time he was nothing but an ass. Complained about how me being out of work is Hurting us financially. He was not a very supportive or loving person. And always he would apologize and come back. After my recent trauma with the car accident I went into depression. I felt I had nowhere to go after losing my parents. He had total control over everything. He made me believe the only way to adopt his daughter was to get married. Like a fool I believed him and we got married. Unbeknowance to me that was not the truth. After a while I became to understand that he was a true narcissist. He does nothing in the household but bring home a paycheck. I cook I clean I do laundry I cut grass. I do errands etc... I work in 42hr weekly job. I am to the point now where I want a divorce. I've tried so many times to express my feelings and emotions. He wants to hear none of it. I am terrified and scared of the ramifications if I go through with this. We both work for the same employer. But I do know if I go to hr that he would not be allowed to come into my department. That helps me in my work but outside of work is terrifying. He is very pretty vindictive and malicious. I have a separate bank account to where i've been saving money. I've set up a storage unit where I have slowly started moving personal belongings. A friend advice me on getting a locking gas cap and a po box. Have no idea in how to make my exit. Any other advice would be greatly appreciated thank you. There's so much more to this story. Just feel lost and broken. I feel like I've settled on what this life is.
I have learned a few things going through my own horror show of a life. Do not leave your home. Obviously if you feel threatened b6 him, there are other options, but it doesn't work out well for the one who leaves the marital home.
Contact a lawyer, or a few. Try to find a free consultation. They can clear so many questions up for you. Also, once your name is within there documents, he cannot be accepted by that lawyer. Keep it to yourself about contacting lawyers.
Get support from family and friends. It will give you the strength to do what you need to do.