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He asked me after 35 years

I will try not to be too long. My husband and I have been married for 35 years. Four weeks ago he asked me for a divorce. We have had some awesome times together but it got bad about four years ago. We fight all the time, and listening to my daughter who says it’s because I have stopped putting up with his ****. He has treated me terribly not telling me where he’s going refusing to answer me. I he has really changed for the worse when he joined his veterans motorcycle club. They have come first over everything. I think. My resentment over being treated bad comes off very cold now, and I have no patience for the disrespect. He asked he didn’t really ask he just said and I can’t even remember I was so upset that I had to ask him so you want to divorce and he said yes and I said why don’t we try therapy and he refuses I don’t want the divorce we’re doing it amicably, I want us to be together, but I also I’ve asked myself for years. Is this how I want to retire? he is living in our camper on our property and since he moved out he has been like he was years ago very nice very helpful very supportive. I can’t stand seeing him walking on the property and my worst thought is of him kissing or having sex with another person. Sorry I think I was longer than I meant to, but as everybody else, it’s hard to say it in a few words.

Re: He asked me after 35 years

Anita, I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is never easy to face the end of a relationship, let alone a marriage. 35 years is a long time and you should give yourselves credit for making it work for that long. I know it was not your choice to end it but ask yourself if you could be happy again in your relationship. My ex also asked for a divorce. We had been married 20 and a half years and it had been rocky for awhile. As much as I did not want it to end, I was not happy in the relationship either. I also would never beg for anyone to love me or stay. Know that you deserve someone that truly loves and appreciates you!

Re: He asked me after 35 years

Hi Anita
I am so sorry you are going through this-- I have been married for over 3 decades- my h moved out 8 months ago- not talk of divorce- just up and moved to another property we own-- but he really moved into his girlfriend's house-- I only learned later that about 99% of men have another woman on the line when they leave-so keep your eyes open.

Also, continue to live your life- see friends, go to work, travel-do whatever you can. I have to say that the last number of months without my h have been fun-- I have done many things that I either would not have wanted to do with him, or just wanted to do with other people.

My h lied and cheated his way through these past months- I don't owe him anything. If your h won't work on it or talk about it, then just open the door and let him go- you deserve better. Now I know this is easier said than done- but you don't need him to tell you twice that he is not innterested.....