I am sorry that your spouse is being obnoxious. I have experienced the same, but mine does it every few months; not just around the holidays. Personally I feel that when men do this, they are either very ill-prepared for managing a long-term relationship, or they really do not want to be with us anymore. Sometimes we can maintain our own emotional leverage by looking inward and deciding whether we are going to continue to tolerate this treatment (and if we decide to do so, that's alright too) or whether we are going to become numb to it (a choice that we can make if we want to) or whether we are going to leave this demeaning relationship and re-start our lives elsewhere. That's just my two cents worth as a fellow sufferer!