He’s not even gone physically but he’s been gone mentally and emotionally for a few months 🥺 I know that I am going to be fine because I know in my heart this is best but I’m still feeling like after all this I WOULD STAY…. Yes I have codependency issues bad … I’ve been married since 19-28 and then 30-46…. So 25 years I have cooked claim been a lover, a supporter and I’m not trying to sit here and say that my mood don’t shift and I can be very nasty at times because I hate sarcasm! Now with that being said, I know for a fact that a lot of people talk about wanting to be single and stuff for a while or they want to enjoy that forever… Well that’s definitely not me because I’m a lover and I’m all about a strong team so I just have to find that person now. The thought of even trying to date someone else or get to know them almost makes me feel queasy. Anyone had love after divorce and their 40s? Any recommendations on what to do with your days? I have no kids and my dog is passed away so I am trying to think about something to pick up. Any tips ??
Hi! I am no expert, but I would suggest you go to a therapist to deal with the codependency issue you mentioned. I understand the want to date someone right away, after all it is a defense mechanism to stop the pain, but, if it is more serious than that, to the point of you can't be alone, then I would suggest to take the time and work on yourself.
I Agee it’s important to learn to enjoy being alone. Take up a new hobby. In order to connect try library meetups or the such. I think many people find new lovers well in to their golden years so don’t despair.
Absolutely feel you! I was married 18.5 years, no kids and housewife trophy wife deal. I greatly enjoyed taking care of him, my role as wife and activist.
Life changes. I have 2 Russian Toy dogs, I volunteer and I started back to finish my bachelor's degree. Partly my choices were due to my ex believing I didn't need college to get ahead and dogs required a lot of attention. He was correct about dogs, but they also fill the dopamine reward of care taker.
You definitely need to develop yourself and feel comfortable being alone, that doesn't mean your need to care for a man will simply go away, but it helps you appreciated yourself and your own special qualities.
I hike, go to museums and on mini trips to New towns just to see if I like activities. I determined I detest shopping, love watching movies alone and I don't like making elaborate meals for myself often. I miss chatting with someone at night and fixing a simple meal for him so I use my dogs and have eventually realizing I stopped bleeding those things and simply appreciate life more.
It's a balance. Therapy helps too. They're trained to ask questions and prove you, and help you discover your hidden personalities.
Absolutely feel you! I was married 18.5 years, no kids and housewife trophy wife deal. I greatly enjoyed taking care of him, my role as wife and activist.
Life changes. I have 2 Russian Toy dogs, I volunteer and I started back to finish my bachelor's degree. Partly my choices were due to my ex believing I didn't need college to get ahead and dogs required a lot of attention. He was correct about dogs, but they also fill the dopamine reward of care taker.
You definitely need to develop yourself and feel comfortable being alone, that doesn't mean your need to care for a man will simply go away, but it helps you appreciated yourself and your own special qualities.
I hike, go to museums and on mini trips to New towns just to see if I like activities. I determined I detest shopping, love watching movies alone and I don't like making elaborate meals for myself often. I miss chatting with someone at night and fixing a simple meal for him so I use my dogs and have eventually realizing I stopped bleeding those things and simply appreciate life more.
It's a balance. Therapy helps too. They're trained to ask questions and prove you, and help you discover your hidden personalities.
But yeah I want to fall in love again and this time be in a better relationship.