I just found out my husband of 10 years (who I have 3 children with and have raised his step-child since they were 3) has been cheating on me (in person and online) for a while. When I confronted him, he said he wanted a divorce. Every day it feels like my heart and chest are being crushed. I can feel the flips in my stomach. What if I hadn't confronted him or found out? Would everything just keep going like it has been? Despite all of the abuse he's put me through, despite him having separated me from friends and family for the last 10 years, despite me having absolutely no life outside of work and raising the children.. I still love him and want to be with him. He has abused me in every way possible and I don't understand why I still want this marriage to work. He has been in control of all of the money.. I haven't had to worry about taking care of myself in years.. Now I have to start over not worrying about just myself, but also the kids. He's also a terrible father. He never spends time with them or takes care of them. Every day, he goes to the gym for hours (and apparently seeing other people). He also goes out and drinks at least once a week, if not more. He keeps telling me this is is all my fault because I couldn't make him happy.. This is killing me. I don't know what to do.

Not your fault at all. He’s a jerk. He also sounds like a typical narcissist husband who has isolated you. Do you have any family who will help you? If not, maybe try calling a crisis line to get advice. My husband pulled something similar after 20 years & I feel you with the stomach flips. I know it’s awful to find out the one person who vowed to be faithful who you trusted one-hundred percent breaks your heart. It takes time, but it will be okay.