My husband and I have been living separately after a 20+ year marriage and 2 kids. The last few years, he became more angry, negative, and it was not a healthy situation anymore. He moved away. I hoped he would wake up and get the help he needed. Nope. A few days ago, he texted me while I was at work and wrote “I want a divorce.” I get that this is where we are, but it hurts like hell. I feel like this was just heartless to do over text and to do it when he knows I’m working. I haven’t responded yet. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to get into an argument but I’d like to address the heartlessness of how he did this. I don’t know. I’m hurting.

I can understand that being told via text that your husband wants a divorce is hard to deal with and it hurts. Do you and him still communicate with each other and see each other or have you totally been leading two completely separated lives? Do you still love him? You need to deal with how you feel and decide if you want a divorce, he probably has not changed so can you accept him as he is and be happy?

So sorry for the situation you are dealing with but I wish you happiness and peace.

He moved to the other side of the country. We have kids together and have been married for 25 years. We talk when we need to, but do not have just friendly chats. I think after everything, I deserve better than a text message and not during my work day. Did I figure we would divorce? Yes. We’ve been separated for a while now. All along, I have asked for counseling. Clearly, he wants a divorce. That’s not the surprise. It’s the lack of decency in how he told me. That is what is bothering me on top of the hurt.