I relate to how you are feeling, I recently found out my husband was cheating with is assistant and I kicked him out and he left and has gotten an apartment and it hurts but I know in my mind and heart that we weren't good together but yet I still want to try to work it out because it is my second marriage and I feel like a failure but things happen and I just have to get over this and get on with my life because he has. Try journaling and expressing your feelings and why you think you are hurting. Take things day by day, they say time heals things. I don't know if that is always true but things do get better and easier to deal with in time.
I cry all the time and our divorce was final in 2021 but he was always around. I have been through hell this past year he has a drug ***** who he spent our anniversary weekend with. He caused me to lose 30 lbs in 2 months. Then he tried to kill me in October. I know I have to stop digging but this week I found on his Facebook on October 21st 2017 he got married? How we were still married. I know I'm better off alone but then she came in and took my grandbabies. I feel so lost