We were together for 7 years and would of been married for 4 years in October. When we were dating everything seemed fine, but once we got married something changed.
It all started just 5 months into the marriage. I saw he was talking to a "female friend". I've kind of questioned their friendship. I asked him why/what he was talking to her about and his response was "None of your **** business". And proceed to call me a snoop. With his reaction I began to question their friendship and our marriage. He assured they were just good friends and I'm the one that has the ring not her.
Fast forward to January 2022. I was away celebrating New Years Eve with Family. Here he had that same female friend and another friend spend the night at our house and didn't even ask me or say anything about it, untill someone told me.
He said he wasn't even going to bother to tell me!
Then it gets worse. I was told/shown by a mutual female friend of the inappropriate messages he sent her. Asking her if she was down for some "No strings attached fun."
There have been at least 2 other females I know of that he has gotten to close with. Finding good morning text on his phone from other females.
I hope and prayed things would get better. Fast forward to now. I'm sitting in my own apartment waiting to file divorce papers. The same female friend that has been interfering in our marriage is still there and I don't think ever left.
I found recent messages on his phone saying he was going to leave me and will be with her. And for her to promise that she will wait for him. When I was reading those message my heart was breaking and I knew right then and there our marriage was over.
Now, looking back on our marriage, I'm wondering if my husband ever did even truly love me. Looking back on all the things he has said and done to me.
It just so hard to feel so betrayed by someone who was suppose to be your forever.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m also questioning if my husband ever truly loved me we were married 20+ years. Honestly, I don’t think he’s capable of honest love. I believe your husband, like mine, is a womanizer and will cheat on this other woman too. He sounds arrogant and narcissistic. I understand the pain and frustration you are feeling like it’s wasted time in your life. Hoping and praying for only the best for you in the future.