That all sounds very awful, your world has been flipped upside down. It's going to be hard for awhile. There is no perfect answer that is going to make everything better.
Right now, one of the best things to do is breathe. Then try focusing on one of your senses for about 10-20 seconds. Calm your mind and then be present in the moment.
You are going through grief and loss over the relationship. The children are too young to truly understand what is going on but they know that you are not okay.
Remember they need you. You are their rock. When they are older, they might not remember specific events taking place now, but they will remember the feeling of the emotions. Focused on one moment at a time.
I was exactly where you are. For months I walked around with a knot in my stomach. I wasn’t interested in anything. I had to use sleeping meds to avoid waking up and running over everything in my mind. I don’t know if you have considered antidepressants but they can help get you through to the other side. It will get better. I know you don’t believe me. I didn’t believe others when they told me that. I’m on the other side of the depression. I’m still going through the divorce but I feel like myself again. There are people out there who are rooting for you.
Hi PJ You don't know it yet but there is a Warrior Queen inside you waiting to protect you and your kids. It doesn't feel like it right now, because the separation is too fresh and shocking, you aren't well waiting for surgery, and you have little kids who need you to make it feel safe.
It's true... life will never be the same, but in time it might be better than it has ever been. Soon, waking up in this new world won't be so gut wrenching. When you can breathe again... you'll need a really good support system blended between family, trusted friends who don't add to the chaos.
To give you space you'll also need childcare you trust. To help you figure things out you'll also need a little therapy / coaching that fits you so you feel safer and less fractured.
I've been doing divorce a long time... mine got me lost in my own chaos for 10 years UNTIL I found me again. With little kids, 10 years is too long.
Someone said you needed to just breathe. She is so right. If you don't know how to breathe to get you back to calm, msg me I have a great 36 second breathing exercise that works. Facebook msg facebook.com/susan.rumack