During winter months I watch quite a bit of day time television, it's a 'perk' of retirement. As one would expect, much of the programming is designed for people like me, but that isn't to say that millions of viewers aren't in fact young, unemployed and/or bringing up a family. I wonder how they feel when they see advertisements, aimed at my age group, exhorting them to make sure they have enough invested in pension schemes to ensure a happy old age?

That type of ad is on the lower end of a scale on which fear is the only index. Fear of growing old unloved, fear of dying in penury and just plain fear of dying.

The other day I was watching an old B Western. One scene was situated in a cemetery and as the camera dissolved in on the ashen features of the bereaved widow there was an advertising break. The first ad was about life insurance, followed by one for a chain of 'Golden Age' retirement homes and that was followed by, wouldn't you just know it, an invitation to select from a range of coffins!

The top of the range was a hardwood affair sporting more brass than Air Force One on nuclear alert, while the bottom of the range was little more than a reinforced shoe box. What is more, the cheapo job was held together by screws for quick assembly. Head 'em up and move 'em out! However, after my initial indignation subsided I had to admit to a sneaking admiration for the mid-priced Swedish pine number with a honey-glow wax finish.

Of course this obsession with death is perfectly understandable, given that we live in a world liberally strewn with nuclear weapons, disease and politicians. John Donne, who as a young man wrote exquisite poetry about life, love and sensuality eventually took to sleeping in a shroud. Now there's a gap in the funeral market that the designer mob haven't spotted, yet. I mean, wouldn't you just die for the chance to be buried in a cute little Yves St Laurent number in that eternally fashionable hopsack?

My own grandmother, bless her, used to regularly scrutinise the Births, Marriages and Deaths columns of the Liverpool Echo. I would be sitting at her feet while she perused the Grim Reaper's shopping list, saying, in a shocked voice, things like,

"Oh God, Sarah Anne Bradshaw's passed away, and she was only seventy."

To me, as a robustly healthy ten year old, seventy was antiquity personified. I harbour an image of my Gran, set in biblical times, sitting in a tent and reading the Hatches, Matches and Despatches in the latest tabloid papyrus, saying, in that same shocked tone,

“I see that poor Methuselah feller has died, and he was still in his prime!"

Of course, I have a different perspective on age now, but I still think that we should abandon this obsession with the inevitable. There is something obscene though in the way our fear of non-existence is exploited. I wonder if there is a conspiracy between the television producers, the ad men, the insurers and the undertakers? I picture them discussing how best to achieve the maximum profit from the minimum outlay.

" I know!" exclaims a TV programmer happily, "Next Monday afternoon, we'll show a double repeat of “Doctor Strangelove” followed by “Titanic!” And in the breaks you can unload all the usual promotions!"

"Cool!" enthuses a twenty year-old advertising executive, "And since Strangelove is as bald as a coot so we could even sneak in one for hair restorer!"

Cheers all round

"You could even slip one in for L'Oreal shampoo." purrs the Insurance man.

More cheers.

The undertaker's lugubrious features lighten to a leaden smile as he cackles,

"Yeah...I'm dead but I'm worth it!"

Loud laughter

Take my tip, record every afternoon's television and then watch it the next day, when you can fast forward through the ads without a backward glance. It's true that time flies, but only if you provide the wings.

Peter

Where are you from? England

Very interesting PETER, and it is TRUE time does
fly.
I seldom watch aftenoon stuff, unless it is a good
Old movie.
I think you are correct about how the ads are
aiming at people.
And I am a real skipper on running through them.

Thanks,
Bob H.

Where are you from? Arkansas

Peter, I never could understand the obsession older people had with the obituaries in the newspapers. It's like they read them and think " well, thank goodness, I'm not in there yet."..They have a certain superior attitude about it.. LOL (I'm old but I don't like to read the obits)

I like the idea of cheaper coffins and cheaper funerals. I was just talking to my husband about that today. If I had the guts, I'd be cremated.. LOL..and they could spread my ashes in that favorite cemetary of mine in town that I can't afford.. unless we're stacked on top of each other. My husband says, "do you want to be on top or bottom?" (mischiveous little devil to the end)...I said , "well, dear, that depends on who goes first".. LOL

I used to know all the commercials until we got our dvr recorder and now I couldn't tell you anything about any of them. We just speed right through all of it.

On the other hand, I kind of like the power we baby boomers wield these days.

I enjoyed reading your post, Peter. Seventy does get younger and younger. I remember thinking my parents, at 30, were so old. :)

Where are you from? Florida

There are lots of people at the retirement village where my mom lives who are in their 90's and early 100's...still having fun, still going out when they can, still enjoying life as best they can. Very inspiring!