High School & Prep Hockey

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Anon

Jan 22, 2019 - 8:45PM

Re: I have no idea what I'm doing

anon

Anon

anon

Not much to go on, someone already asked what your son wants, that\\\'s most important. If this is about college, I believe that there are more lax scholarships than hockey ones.

Admission deadlines vary a bit from school to school but you are a bit behind if you are looking for next year.

If his grades aren\\\'t great, get him a tutor. A good athlete is important, a good athlete and good student will open more doors.

Have him take the SSAT\\\'s as almost all schools are going to want it. Much like SAT\\\'s, consider a tutor before he takes the test.

If he has good grades and solid SSAT score, you\\\'ve made the coaches life much easier.

Next put together a highlight reel, obviously mostly positive but it\\\'s not a bad idea to have a screw up or two in there. Email the coaches to let them know you are interested along with a link to his film. The film shouldn\\\'t be more than a few minutes long. If you can find an example of a mistake and then a similar play later where he does it right, you want this on the film, shows him learning.

Do some showcase tournaments. If you are looking at prep\\\'s in New England most of them attend all the area ones like HNIB, PrepShowcase, etc. Many coaches will make themselves available to talk to perspective players\\\\parents during the event.

Google the coaches name of the schools your player is interested in and see if he works any hockey camps during the summer. If he does, sign up for the camp. This is a great chance for the coach to get to see your kid\\\'s work ethic, attitude, interaction, etc. It can backfire if your kid isn\\\'t hard working or a jerk to the other players.

Last and certainly not least, if you are looking at \\\"name\\\" schools like Phillips or Groton, it\\\'s not a bad idea to make sure you look through your kids social media accounts and scrub it for anything a school may not like. As one coach told my son, \\\"You get tagged in a picture at a keg party, I\\\'m moving on. I don\\\'t need any headaches\\\".

Brilliant advice. \"Make sure you look through your kids social media accounts and scrub it for anything a school may not like.\"

If a 14 year old eighth grader\'s social media account has tagged pictures at keg parties, inflammatory comments, etc. I\'d say the family has more to worry about than what a Prep school might like and not like.

Yes, it is excellent advice. I live in the real world, despite my kids growing up in a very affluent town, they have classmates & teammates that have been suspended for vaping as early as 6th & 7th grades. It only takes a moron snapping a selfie and tagging a 100 classmates to create problems for a kid, it could be vaping, fighting or a kegger. That was the coaches point and that was my point. You don't have to be in the picture, you don't have to be the one making crass statements for it to reflect poorly on your child. Every coach that my son talked to asked him
Do you have a Facebook page?
What's your Twitter & Instagram handle?
What other social media app's do you use?

Do you think they are asking that because he wants to be friends with him or follow his brilliant social commentary?

Let me ask you, how old were you when you stole a few beers from your old man's fridge, rolled your first joint, etc. Realize that in today's world, kids begin experimenting at even earlier ages. So if you did it at 14, I can promise you one of your kids friends did it by age 12. Say your son's friend Ralph decides to get in a fight and as usual, someone videos it, posts it and your kid gets tagged in the video? That is a real world example of something that happened with one of my kids. He was asked about it by his high school administration and the local police because one kid was 18. You want a perspective coach seeing that?

Yes, check your kids social media accounts. If there is nothing there, you wasted a whopping five minutes. If there is something there, better you see it before a coach does.

My point, Einstein, is a parent better be diligent about not only what is posted on social media, but what the kid is actually doing, who he's associating with, where he spends his free time. Not because of what a Prep school might think. It's called parenting.

If you haven't been talking with your kid by, like, 5, in an age-appropriate way about alcohol, prescription/non-prescription/illegal drugs, nicotine/tobacco/vaping, sexual predators, DUI, etc. then you fail the basic parent test and shouldn't be surprised at the outcome.

We all know **** happens. **** happens to my kid. But, I know about it. So did my folks. So did yours. You only THINK they were oblivious. They knew a lot more than you think they did.

If a Prep coach finds out your kid is tagged in social media, and you didn't know it, you're an idiot and the apple probably didn't fall far from the tree.

Geez. Is this not common sense nowadays?

anon

Jan 23, 2019 - 6:32AM

Re: I have no idea what I'm doing

Anon

anon

Anon

anon

Not much to go on, someone already asked what your son wants, that\\\\\\\'s most important. If this is about college, I believe that there are more lax scholarships than hockey ones.

Admission deadlines vary a bit from school to school but you are a bit behind if you are looking for next year.

If his grades aren\\\\\\\'t great, get him a tutor. A good athlete is important, a good athlete and good student will open more doors.

Have him take the SSAT\\\\\\\'s as almost all schools are going to want it. Much like SAT\\\\\\\'s, consider a tutor before he takes the test.

If he has good grades and solid SSAT score, you\\\\\\\'ve made the coaches life much easier.

Next put together a highlight reel, obviously mostly positive but it\\\\\\\'s not a bad idea to have a screw up or two in there. Email the coaches to let them know you are interested along with a link to his film. The film shouldn\\\\\\\'t be more than a few minutes long. If you can find an example of a mistake and then a similar play later where he does it right, you want this on the film, shows him learning.

Do some showcase tournaments. If you are looking at prep\\\\\\\'s in New England most of them attend all the area ones like HNIB, PrepShowcase, etc. Many coaches will make themselves available to talk to perspective players\\\\\\\\parents during the event.

Google the coaches name of the schools your player is interested in and see if he works any hockey camps during the summer. If he does, sign up for the camp. This is a great chance for the coach to get to see your kid\\\\\\\'s work ethic, attitude, interaction, etc. It can backfire if your kid isn\\\\\\\'t hard working or a jerk to the other players.

Last and certainly not least, if you are looking at \\\\\\\"name\\\\\\\" schools like Phillips or Groton, it\\\\\\\'s not a bad idea to make sure you look through your kids social media accounts and scrub it for anything a school may not like. As one coach told my son, \\\\\\\"You get tagged in a picture at a keg party, I\\\\\\\'m moving on. I don\\\\\\\'t need any headaches\\\\\\\".

Brilliant advice. \\\"Make sure you look through your kids social media accounts and scrub it for anything a school may not like.\\\"

If a 14 year old eighth grader\\\'s social media account has tagged pictures at keg parties, inflammatory comments, etc. I\\\'d say the family has more to worry about than what a Prep school might like and not like.

Yes, it is excellent advice. I live in the real world, despite my kids growing up in a very affluent town, they have classmates & teammates that have been suspended for vaping as early as 6th & 7th grades. It only takes a moron snapping a selfie and tagging a 100 classmates to create problems for a kid, it could be vaping, fighting or a kegger. That was the coaches point and that was my point. You don\'t have to be in the picture, you don\'t have to be the one making crass statements for it to reflect poorly on your child. Every coach that my son talked to asked him
Do you have a Facebook page?
What\'s your Twitter & Instagram handle?
What other social media app\'s do you use?

Do you think they are asking that because he wants to be friends with him or follow his brilliant social commentary?

Let me ask you, how old were you when you stole a few beers from your old man\'s fridge, rolled your first joint, etc. Realize that in today\'s world, kids begin experimenting at even earlier ages. So if you did it at 14, I can promise you one of your kids friends did it by age 12. Say your son\'s friend Ralph decides to get in a fight and as usual, someone videos it, posts it and your kid gets tagged in the video? That is a real world example of something that happened with one of my kids. He was asked about it by his high school administration and the local police because one kid was 18. You want a perspective coach seeing that?

Yes, check your kids social media accounts. If there is nothing there, you wasted a whopping five minutes. If there is something there, better you see it before a coach does.

Congratulations on being an involved and evolved parent, not everyone is on your level. I have no idea who the person is that asked this question & neither do you. How involved are they in their child's life? Do they have Twitter, Facebook, etc.? Do they know how to check on their child's online activities? When someone asks for advice, to assume they have the same foundation as you is foolish, don't you think? What's even more foolish is to then insult people who may not share the same parenting techniques as you, who may not be tech savvy, who might not realize that their kids even have these accounts.

1) Common sense isn't very common
2) How many athletes are getting in trouble for stuff they posted in their teen years
3) Why would a coach even bring it up if it wasn't a continuing issue he faces

Many parents & kids don't think about social media and the impact in recruiting, either to a school or in the workplace and you know it's not very hard to find examples of that.

Anon

Jan 23, 2019 - 7:54AM

Re: I have no idea what I'm doing

anon

Anon

anon

Anon

anon

Not much to go on, someone already asked what your son wants, that\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s most important. If this is about college, I believe that there are more lax scholarships than hockey ones.

Admission deadlines vary a bit from school to school but you are a bit behind if you are looking for next year.

If his grades aren\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t great, get him a tutor. A good athlete is important, a good athlete and good student will open more doors.

Have him take the SSAT\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s as almost all schools are going to want it. Much like SAT\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s, consider a tutor before he takes the test.

If he has good grades and solid SSAT score, you\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve made the coaches life much easier.

Next put together a highlight reel, obviously mostly positive but it\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s not a bad idea to have a screw up or two in there. Email the coaches to let them know you are interested along with a link to his film. The film shouldn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t be more than a few minutes long. If you can find an example of a mistake and then a similar play later where he does it right, you want this on the film, shows him learning.

Do some showcase tournaments. If you are looking at prep\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s in New England most of them attend all the area ones like HNIB, PrepShowcase, etc. Many coaches will make themselves available to talk to perspective players\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\parents during the event.

Google the coaches name of the schools your player is interested in and see if he works any hockey camps during the summer. If he does, sign up for the camp. This is a great chance for the coach to get to see your kid\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s work ethic, attitude, interaction, etc. It can backfire if your kid isn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t hard working or a jerk to the other players.

Last and certainly not least, if you are looking at \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"name\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\" schools like Phillips or Groton, it\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s not a bad idea to make sure you look through your kids social media accounts and scrub it for anything a school may not like. As one coach told my son, \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"You get tagged in a picture at a keg party, I\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'m moving on. I don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t need any headaches\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\".

Brilliant advice. \\\\\\\"Make sure you look through your kids social media accounts and scrub it for anything a school may not like.\\\\\\\"

If a 14 year old eighth grader\\\\\\\'s social media account has tagged pictures at keg parties, inflammatory comments, etc. I\\\\\\\'d say the family has more to worry about than what a Prep school might like and not like.

Yes, it is excellent advice. I live in the real world, despite my kids growing up in a very affluent town, they have classmates & teammates that have been suspended for vaping as early as 6th & 7th grades. It only takes a moron snapping a selfie and tagging a 100 classmates to create problems for a kid, it could be vaping, fighting or a kegger. That was the coaches point and that was my point. You don\\\'t have to be in the picture, you don\\\'t have to be the one making crass statements for it to reflect poorly on your child. Every coach that my son talked to asked him
Do you have a Facebook page?
What\\\'s your Twitter & Instagram handle?
What other social media app\\\'s do you use?

Do you think they are asking that because he wants to be friends with him or follow his brilliant social commentary?

Let me ask you, how old were you when you stole a few beers from your old man\\\'s fridge, rolled your first joint, etc. Realize that in today\\\'s world, kids begin experimenting at even earlier ages. So if you did it at 14, I can promise you one of your kids friends did it by age 12. Say your son\\\'s friend Ralph decides to get in a fight and as usual, someone videos it, posts it and your kid gets tagged in the video? That is a real world example of something that happened with one of my kids. He was asked about it by his high school administration and the local police because one kid was 18. You want a perspective coach seeing that?

Yes, check your kids social media accounts. If there is nothing there, you wasted a whopping five minutes. If there is something there, better you see it before a coach does.

My point, Einstein, is a parent better be diligent about not only what is posted on social media, but what the kid is actually doing, who he\'s associating with, where he spends his free time. Not because of what a Prep school might think. It\'s called parenting.

If you haven\'t been talking with your kid by, like, 5, in an age-appropriate way about alcohol, prescription/non-prescription/illegal drugs, nicotine/tobacco/vaping, sexual predators, DUI, etc. then you fail the basic parent test and shouldn\'t be surprised at the outcome.

We all know **** happens. **** happens to my kid. But, I know about it. So did my folks. So did yours. You only THINK they were oblivious. They knew a lot more than you think they did.

If a Prep coach finds out your kid is tagged in social media, and you didn\'t know it, you\'re an idiot and the apple probably didn\'t fall far from the tree.

Geez. Is this not common sense nowadays?

Please. So you suggest we assume hockey parents represent the Lowest Common Denominator?

Advising the parent of a 14 year old to be aware of their kid's social media presence before applying to Prep school is the functional equivalent of telling a parent of a 16 year old to be sure their kid uses seat belts when taking their driving test. I mean, it's true, but does that qualify as "excellent advice" too? I'm sure there must be SOME parents out there that don't insist on seat belt use.

But, they don't belong in Prep school.

anon

Jan 23, 2019 - 8:38AM

Re: I have no idea what I'm doing

Anon

anon

Anon

anon

Anon

anon

Not much to go on, someone already asked what your son wants, that\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s most important. If this is about college, I believe that there are more lax scholarships than hockey ones.

Admission deadlines vary a bit from school to school but you are a bit behind if you are looking for next year.

If his grades aren\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t great, get him a tutor. A good athlete is important, a good athlete and good student will open more doors.

Have him take the SSAT\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s as almost all schools are going to want it. Much like SAT\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s, consider a tutor before he takes the test.

If he has good grades and solid SSAT score, you\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve made the coaches life much easier.

Next put together a highlight reel, obviously mostly positive but it\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s not a bad idea to have a screw up or two in there. Email the coaches to let them know you are interested along with a link to his film. The film shouldn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t be more than a few minutes long. If you can find an example of a mistake and then a similar play later where he does it right, you want this on the film, shows him learning.

Do some showcase tournaments. If you are looking at prep\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s in New England most of them attend all the area ones like HNIB, PrepShowcase, etc. Many coaches will make themselves available to talk to perspective players\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\parents during the event.

Google the coaches name of the schools your player is interested in and see if he works any hockey camps during the summer. If he does, sign up for the camp. This is a great chance for the coach to get to see your kid\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s work ethic, attitude, interaction, etc. It can backfire if your kid isn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t hard working or a jerk to the other players.

Last and certainly not least, if you are looking at \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"name\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\" schools like Phillips or Groton, it\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s not a bad idea to make sure you look through your kids social media accounts and scrub it for anything a school may not like. As one coach told my son, \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"You get tagged in a picture at a keg party, I\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'m moving on. I don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t need any headaches\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\".

Brilliant advice. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"Make sure you look through your kids social media accounts and scrub it for anything a school may not like.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"

If a 14 year old eighth grader\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s social media account has tagged pictures at keg parties, inflammatory comments, etc. I\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'d say the family has more to worry about than what a Prep school might like and not like.

Yes, it is excellent advice. I live in the real world, despite my kids growing up in a very affluent town, they have classmates & teammates that have been suspended for vaping as early as 6th & 7th grades. It only takes a moron snapping a selfie and tagging a 100 classmates to create problems for a kid, it could be vaping, fighting or a kegger. That was the coaches point and that was my point. You don\\\\\\\'t have to be in the picture, you don\\\\\\\'t have to be the one making crass statements for it to reflect poorly on your child. Every coach that my son talked to asked him
Do you have a Facebook page?
What\\\\\\\'s your Twitter & Instagram handle?
What other social media app\\\\\\\'s do you use?

Do you think they are asking that because he wants to be friends with him or follow his brilliant social commentary?

Let me ask you, how old were you when you stole a few beers from your old man\\\\\\\'s fridge, rolled your first joint, etc. Realize that in today\\\\\\\'s world, kids begin experimenting at even earlier ages. So if you did it at 14, I can promise you one of your kids friends did it by age 12. Say your son\\\\\\\'s friend Ralph decides to get in a fight and as usual, someone videos it, posts it and your kid gets tagged in the video? That is a real world example of something that happened with one of my kids. He was asked about it by his high school administration and the local police because one kid was 18. You want a perspective coach seeing that?

Yes, check your kids social media accounts. If there is nothing there, you wasted a whopping five minutes. If there is something there, better you see it before a coach does.

My point, Einstein, is a parent better be diligent about not only what is posted on social media, but what the kid is actually doing, who he\\\'s associating with, where he spends his free time. Not because of what a Prep school might think. It\\\'s called parenting.

If you haven\\\'t been talking with your kid by, like, 5, in an age-appropriate way about alcohol, prescription/non-prescription/illegal drugs, nicotine/tobacco/vaping, sexual predators, DUI, etc. then you fail the basic parent test and shouldn\\\'t be surprised at the outcome.

We all know **** happens. **** happens to my kid. But, I know about it. So did my folks. So did yours. You only THINK they were oblivious. They knew a lot more than you think they did.

If a Prep coach finds out your kid is tagged in social media, and you didn\\\'t know it, you\\\'re an idiot and the apple probably didn\\\'t fall far from the tree.

Geez. Is this not common sense nowadays?

Congratulations on being an involved and evolved parent, not everyone is on your level. I have no idea who the person is that asked this question & neither do you. How involved are they in their child\'s life? Do they have Twitter, Facebook, etc.? Do they know how to check on their child\'s online activities? When someone asks for advice, to assume they have the same foundation as you is foolish, don\'t you think? What\'s even more foolish is to then insult people who may not share the same parenting techniques as you, who may not be tech savvy, who might not realize that their kids even have these accounts.

1) Common sense isn\'t very common
2) How many athletes are getting in trouble for stuff they posted in their teen years
3) Why would a coach even bring it up if it wasn\'t a continuing issue he faces

Many parents & kids don\'t think about social media and the impact in recruiting, either to a school or in the workplace and you know it\'s not very hard to find examples of that.

No, I suggest hockey parents are no different than any other parent in the world and thus, their level of understanding differs from person to person. Therefore, what is obvious to one, may not be to others. I'm sorry that you struggle with that concept or that you found the advice insulting, it wasn't intended to be.

Anon

Jan 23, 2019 - 8:58AM

Re: I have no idea what I'm doing

anon

Anon

Please. So you suggest we assume hockey parents represent the Lowest Common Denominator?

Advising the parent of a 14 year old to be aware of their kid\'s social media presence before applying to Prep school is the functional equivalent of telling a parent of a 16 year old to be sure their kid uses seat belts when taking their driving test. I mean, it\'s true, but does that qualify as \"excellent advice\" too? I\'m sure there must be SOME parents out there that don\'t insist on seat belt use.

But, they don\'t belong in Prep school.

I never said the advice was insulting, I found it laughable. Clearly, I hold people in greater esteem than you do.

BTW, how was Book Club yesterday?

anon

Jan 23, 2019 - 3:30PM

Re: I have no idea what I'm doing

Anon

anon

Anon

Please. So you suggest we assume hockey parents represent the Lowest Common Denominator?

Advising the parent of a 14 year old to be aware of their kid\\'s social media presence before applying to Prep school is the functional equivalent of telling a parent of a 16 year old to be sure their kid uses seat belts when taking their driving test. I mean, it\\'s true, but does that qualify as \\"excellent advice\\" too? I\\'m sure there must be SOME parents out there that don\\'t insist on seat belt use.

But, they don\\'t belong in Prep school.

I never said the advice was insulting, I found it laughable. Clearly, I hold people in greater esteem than you do.

BTW, how was Book Club yesterday?

"BTW, how was Book Club yesterday?"

No idea I decided to skip it but the guys were raving about your wife. They said she was much more flexible than they anticipated, whatever that means.

Anon

Jan 22, 2019 - 6:59PM

Re: I have no idea what I'm doing

anon

This is good advice. Here are a couple of other small things to think about:

1) People tend to throw out the general "play prep" advice around here frequently. It's good advice, but keep in mind that the schools are very, very different. You'll want to take some time and find a place where your kid will be comfortable, especially if he might board. Schools not only have widely varying academic requirements/philosophies/admission standards, but the vibe and culture of the schools can be really different. There's probably a handful of different schools where your kid might really thrive, but there are also undoubtedly more where he wouldn't, so it's key to figure out which is which. It's time confusing and frustrating, but doing that front-end work will save you some serious heartburn down the road.

2) If your kid is good enough -- and be honest with yourself about that, and realize that you may be a terrible judge of your own kid's talent/upside -- you'll want to find a place where he will actually play as a freshman, even if that means repeating a year (which most, but not all, hockey players do). All other things being =, if you can find a school that fits academically, culturally, financially, etc., and your son has a realistic chance of playing meaningful minutes on a not-terrible team as a freshman, that's your sweet spot. Those slots are pretty rare, and the number of kids who can fill those slots rarer, but that's a great place to land if you can. If his grades and test scores are decent, you might look at the ISL schools because they don't allow PGs, which allows some of the teams to take a chance on a younger/smaller kid, because he won't be playing against 19 year old PGs quite as often. Ending up on a j.v. team, where he plays 15 games against wildly inconsistent opposition, is, at least in my view, a waste. You're probably better off playing FS club and trying find a prep home a year later.

Last thought -- unless your kid is good enough to make a professional career out of hockey, consider using his hockey talent to get him into a prep school that he probably wouldn't otherwise attend, then use his attendance there to get him into a college that he might not otherwise attend. Leveraging the hockey to get a great education at least gives him a nice fallback if injury or an athletic ceiling limits his continued development.

Clueless

Jan 22, 2019 - 7:36PM

Re: I have no idea what I'm doing

This is may been the best thread on the dboard ever. Real advice and good information. Thank you!

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