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The kids should play, act and want to win but really too many coaches, teams and parents think too much about winning. The kids are fine with a good close game and being on a competitive team. With that said, being on a top competitive team especially in the bigger tournaments will get the kid more attention...if that's a goal.
Bantam, Midget, high school really.
Beatcuff - you have no idea what you are talking about. Players do get recruited and do commit to college as early as middle school.