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All in all the fed and e9 are equal. Anyone that tells you different is either ignorant, has no hockey knowledge, or is making money from the org.
Sometimes town leagues aren't too far behind.
Don't make a big deal out of it, let your child pay where he/she is challenged competitively and is enjoying the game with players and coaches that respect the game.
You are right! My best friend coaches a D-1 college team. He tells me that if a player didn't play in the fed when he was 12 years old, he won't even look at him.