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Re: why are you doing this?

anon
anon
If you are \"pushing your kid\" - at ANY age - you are one of \"those parents.\" Stop. Let his passion develop on its own. It will. Or it won\'t.

Then the answer to your question is simple - because you are helping him to pursue HIS goals, just like any other good parent would do.
I agree with your point, but if you are bringing your 6 or 7 year old to the rink 3 or 4 times a week (which is standard for youth hockey at that age), you are almost by definition pushing your kid. Very few kids are all in to get to the rink that frequently for 6 months straight.
Wasn't my experience. The only "pushing" I ever had to do was if he fell asleep in the car and was cranky when he woke up. Lasted five minutes. I never once had to push him to go tho the rink.

I have always made it a habit of talking everything through with him to make sure he was the one that was driving the decision, even at an early age, before we can realistically think that he understood the impact of his decision. It was the checking in that was important. It was my reading his cues, even if he didn't know he was sending them. Now, you can ask him when he's an adult whether he was doing it for him or for me, and he could answer the latter. Kids are naturally motivated to do things that they know their parents support.

A couple of years ago he did say that he was afraid of "failing" and disappointing me, because I'd invested so much time and money. We had a long talk that day about how he could never disappoint me, that I'm doing these things because I'm his dad, that I support him unconditionally, that whatever he achieved he did for himself, not for me. I told him he could "pay me back" by doing the same for my grandkids.

That's my experience, not suggesting it is or should be yours. But, keep the "pushing" to a minimum, help him develop his own passion, and you won't have to.

Re: why are you doing this?

Anon
Just wondering - why are you doing this? Pushing your kids with 'full-time' hockey? I am in the same boat, so I am not criticizing. Just want to find out what others are feeling. What is your goal for your kid? Especially for Mite parents. Kid at 6, 7, 8 cannot absolutely LOVE it as they are still forming as individuals so it has to be the parents' push in most cases. BTW, 90% of Mites are not great - where to next?
It's the greatest game on earth. If you have played competitively in high school, college and beyond you understand it. That doesn't mean you can't appreciate it and be in love with it if you haven't played. I just know I have the greatest memories of my former teammates from mites through college. Incredible stories and good times. I met some unreal people who I am still extremely close with. You learn life lessons like team building, character, toughness and leadership. There will be some insane stories and an opportunities to meet some real beauties along the way.

If you have an athletic and driven child who loves hockey, you are on the road to some great memories. You will need to learn how and when to push and when to back off. Give them the opportunities and see what happens. If you are lucky enough to have a child play past high school you are fortunate and you will understand just what the game can do for a person.

Re: why are you doing this?

I agree with letting the kid make the call as much as possible. My 09 will play his first year in Fed elite next year. He let us know last year that he wanted to be on the ice as much as possible. Didn't want to continue with soccer. Only wanted to play lacrosse in the Spring but with the understanding that a CCM or Blue Chip tourney or hockey skills comes first. Part of that was the carrot being dangled in that he knew kids that had gone from town to Fed. Part of it was him just wanting to be a hockey player. My 11 tags along as much as he wants. But he also wants to play soccer and have play dates and be on the video games. So we keep him playing town hockey, and if he ever decides that he wants to move up, we make a change.

Re: why are you doing this?

The “pushing” stuff usually comes from one or two types of parents;

1) older players who never could make the “leap” from a development standpoint and they are coming to terms with it, so it’s a defense mechanism for their bender spending the summer getting even worse by bumming around smoking weed or playing video games

2) parents who pushed too hard and had the moment of clarity when the kid burned out because they were living vicariously through the kid and now they have guilt and regret

Some actually understand the balance and enable and support a kid who loves to play, understanding our role in the process...sorry I’m a balanced normal person and you are not, and sorry my kid loves the game

Re: why are you doing this?

Anon
I agree with letting the kid make the call as much as possible. My 09 will play his first year in Fed elite next year. He let us know last year that he wanted to be on the ice as much as possible. Didn\'t want to continue with soccer. Only wanted to play lacrosse in the Spring but with the understanding that a CCM or Blue Chip tourney or hockey skills comes first. Part of that was the carrot being dangled in that he knew kids that had gone from town to Fed. Part of it was him just wanting to be a hockey player. My 11 tags along as much as he wants. But he also wants to play soccer and have play dates and be on the video games. So we keep him playing town hockey, and if he ever decides that he wants to move up, we make a change.

What a load of BS. No 09 lays down an "understanding that a CCM or Blue Chip tourney or hockey skills comes first." That's coming from you. It's OK, just admit it. You and the kid will be better off.

Re: why are you doing this?

Of course it's me that makes that decision. My kid is going from town to elite hockey. If he wants to go that route, he's not going in unprepared....especially in his first year where the transition is hard. My point is that if you have a kid who wants to focus on hockey at the expense of other activities, you have to go after that. One of my kids does. The other doesn't.

Re: why are you doing this?

Anon
Of course it's me that makes that decision. My kid is going from town to elite hockey. If he wants to go that route, he's not going in unprepared....especially in his first year where the transition is hard. My point is that if you have a kid who wants to focus on hockey at the expense of other activities, you have to go after that. One of my kids does. The other doesn't.
So if one kid wants it and the other one doesn't, who exactly is making the decision? You, or them?

Maybe you misunderstood the question. It WAS a little metaphorical.

Re: why are you doing this?

Anon
Of course it\'s me that makes that decision. My kid is going from town to elite hockey. If he wants to go that route, he\'s not going in unprepared....especially in his first year where the transition is hard. My point is that if you have a kid who wants to focus on hockey at the expense of other activities, you have to go after that. One of my kids does. The other doesn\'t.
You mean T1 Silver, correct? just be honest, he's not on the E-team. Town to Elite Fed doesn't happen for 1st year SQ, generally. E-team was picked way before tryouts, and way before "town kids" got on their radar.

Re: why are you doing this?

anon
Anon
Of course it\\\'s me that makes that decision. My kid is going from town to elite hockey. If he wants to go that route, he\\\'s not going in unprepared....especially in his first year where the transition is hard. My point is that if you have a kid who wants to focus on hockey at the expense of other activities, you have to go after that. One of my kids does. The other doesn\\\'t.
You mean T1 Silver, correct? just be honest, he's not on the E-team. Town to Elite Fed doesn't happen for 1st year SQ, generally. E-team was picked way before tryouts, and way before "town kids" got on their radar.
Get over yourself. Of course it does. If you said first year peewee, then maybe I'd agree. But mites to squirts it definitely happens.

Re: why are you doing this?

Danny Gare
Anon
Just wondering - why are you doing this? Pushing your kids with \'full-time\' hockey? I am in the same boat, so I am not criticizing. Just want to find out what others are feeling. What is your goal for your kid? Especially for Mite parents. Kid at 6, 7, 8 cannot absolutely LOVE it as they are still forming as individuals so it has to be the parents\' push in most cases. BTW, 90% of Mites are not great - where to next?
It's the greatest game on earth. If you have played competitively in high school, college and beyond you understand it. That doesn't mean you can't appreciate it and be in love with it if you haven't played. I just know I have the greatest memories of my former teammates from mites through college. Incredible stories and good times. I met some unreal people who I am still extremely close with. You learn life lessons like team building, character, toughness and leadership. There will be some insane stories and an opportunities to meet some real beauties along the way.

If you have an athletic and driven child who loves hockey, you are on the road to some great memories. You will need to learn how and when to push and when to back off. Give them the opportunities and see what happens. If you are lucky enough to have a child play past high school you are fortunate and you will understand just what the game can do for a person.
lol ok jon

Re: why are you doing this?

I do it because I like the rink food.

Re: why are you doing this?

Because it's a heck of a lot of fun not only for the kids, parents and families. The journey from LTS to current level has been amazing and a blessing for the whole family. Those who have played at any level know what an amazing sport it is. Very similar to Golf you can play this game for a lifetime. I push my kids as I want them to achive the highest level of success in whatever they do. I push them to play as much as possible unlike other sports Hockey has so many areas to work on and rewards you with very tangible improvement quickly.

Re: why are you doing this?

I do it to coach....because there are some moms who really want their kid on my team

Re: why are you doing this?

Hey-o
I do it to coach....because there are some moms who really want their kid on my team
This is the mission statement of the CT Huskies.

Re: why are you doing this?

That is as good as it gets for some dealing with a has been coach trying to relive his glory days. funny hockey is full of those types more than any other sport.

Re: why are you doing this?

Beleive me, if the kid is even a marginal athlete ditch hockey for lacrosse. 50 man rosters, D-1 teams springing up all over the country, cheaper than hockey, no two years of juniors only to report to his college team at the age of 21. . . This game is a dead-end sport for 98% of the kids.

Re: why are you doing this?

I have obsereved the most disturbing behavior exhibited by young kids this year in our hockey circuit. I have witnessed 7-8 year old kids punching and spitting at there parents ,other team mates, and coaches. Fist fighting in the locker room while the parent of the agressor observes and lets it happen at the same time the kids parent who is on the short end is not in attendance only validates that the parents are demented. I have seen public on ice meltdowns and coach attacks by kids. When you push a child real hard into something you percieve they like and the kid does not have the wherewithal or emotional interlect to communicate back to the parent you get pandoras box as a constellation prize. I would think that some of these demented parents beat there kids physically and or emotionally when they do not perform well in a game. I have to say that some of these kids play well but if you played a sport for Kim Jong-UN you know you will have to do well or he will kill you! Its only a matter of time before a kid blows a circuit and circles back in a real negative way on a parent!

Re: why are you doing this?

Anon
I have obsereved the most disturbing behavior exhibited by young kids this year in our hockey circuit. I have witnessed 7-8 year old kids punching and spitting at there parents ,other team mates, and coaches. Fist fighting in the locker room while the parent of the agressor observes and lets it happen at the same time the kids parent who is on the short end is not in attendance only validates that the parents are demented. I have seen public on ice meltdowns and coach attacks by kids. When you push a child real hard into something you percieve they like and the kid does not have the wherewithal or emotional interlect to communicate back to the parent you get pandoras box as a constellation prize. I would think that some of these demented parents beat there kids physically and or emotionally when they do not perform well in a game. I have to say that some of these kids play well but if you played a sport for Kim Jong-UN you know you will have to do well or he will kill you! Its only a matter of time before a kid blows a circuit and circles back in a real negative way on a parent!
Please select A, B, C or D.


This all took place at:

a. Bandits
B. Shamrocks
c. Top Gun
d. Vipers

Re: why are you doing this?

Anon
Just wondering - why are you doing this? Pushing your kids with 'full-time' hockey? I am in the same boat, so I am not criticizing. Just want to find out what others are feeling. What is your goal for your kid? Especially for Mite parents. Kid at 6, 7, 8 cannot absolutely LOVE it as they are still forming as individuals so it has to be the parents' push in most cases. BTW, 90% of Mites are not great - where to next?
My 06 son always wanted and still wants to play full time at a competitive level. We only push him to work hard at anything he does. He never said I don't want to go to practice or skills he is self driven and when and if he wants out we will let him make his own choices.

Re: why are you doing this?

Parents are the problem! There is a dad on the south shore who used to play college hockey, and he is the creepiest dad. I believe he is coaching town hockey cause his son got cut. He actually got a penalty report of a competing child and sent it to a hockey organization to prevent a kid from making a team. How he got the kids information is creepy and that he would take such action is insane! Creepy, gross and insane!

Re: why are you doing this?

what a DB