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Youth Hockey
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Not Elite

We have a friend on the team who thinks their player should be on the elite team. Don't have the heart to tell them they are so far from being elite it hurts. Don't want to see their dream get broken but we know they're going to be upset little Johnny didn't make it and are going to just go somewhere else because they feel slighted by the organization, not the team.

There is no reason for them to leave this team or not be on it and the other parents and I just kind of look at each other when these people talk about their player and how good he is, when he's not. My kid is friends with the kid and has been trying to tell him no way, but the parents are going to screw this up. The coach thinks they'll stay and he's not getting it in his head they won't.

So, sit back and watch a train wreck or hold some kind of intervention? Tough to watch what should be normal people making crazy decisions about this.

I'd rather mind my own business and guessing the Dboard will at least convince me to do that.

Re: Not Elite

Age group? Level? Wondering if the family has been at this for a while or are new to the game.

Re: Not Elite

Anon
Age group? Level? Wondering if the family has been at this for a while or are new to the game.
It's true, you need to ask them what their end game is? Is it more about them or their kid. Is the kid scoring 4 goals a game at will against opponents or is he a shut down Dman with a huge + rating on a bad team? Maybe they could get him onto a tournament team against "Elite" level players and see what happens. Litmus test seems needed but again, if he's not there yet, then he'll be in a worse position getting cut the next year.

I'd let it be but if you like the family have a conversation.

Re: Not Elite

Stop please Adam.... really!

Re: Not Elite

AnonF
We have a friend on the team who thinks their player should be on the elite team. Don't have the heart to tell them they are so far from being elite it hurts. Don't want to see their dream get broken but we know they're going to be upset little Johnny didn't make it and are going to just go somewhere else because they feel slighted by the organization, not the team.

There is no reason for them to leave this team or not be on it and the other parents and I just kind of look at each other when these people talk about their player and how good he is, when he's not. My kid is friends with the kid and has been trying to tell him no way, but the parents are going to screw this up. The coach thinks they'll stay and he's not getting it in his head they won't.

So, sit back and watch a train wreck or hold some kind of intervention? Tough to watch what should be normal people making crazy decisions about this.

I'd rather mind my own business and guessing the Dboard will at least convince me to do that.
If you say "mite" anywhere in your follow up post please delete yourself.

Re: Not Elite

It is none of your business. There are lots of non-elite kids playing on elite teams, and they have fun and are fine with the way it is. Hockey is going to end for most youth players in a few years, one way or another. Some families want a different experience than yours. It is their journey, not yours.

Re: Not Elite

Yes there are many non elite kids playing elite and they are all in the FED.. League so watered down with so many dam rainbow colors its laughable. Aside from top couple on each team more than half of the kids are not elite. Parents holding onto the elite tag for their own pride. As the saying goes you are who you are...kids get to High School and once puck drops coach could care less. If kid is developing and enjoying the game all good. If kid is struggling with week in and out pounding then not worth it. But hey if Dad can say his kid is Elite that makes all the sense in the world. Wake up folks. Its your kids journey. For the love of god communicate with your kid and then listen. Lastly follow through.

Dad of the year = Dad of an elite Fed player.
These parents should be studied.

Re: Not Elite

Fuzzy math
Yes there are many non elite kids playing elite and they are all in the FED.. League so watered down with so many dam rainbow colors its laughable. Aside from top couple on each team more than half of the kids are not elite. Parents holding onto the elite tag for their own pride. As the saying goes you are who you are...kids get to High School and once puck drops coach could care less. If kid is developing and enjoying the game all good. If kid is struggling with week in and out pounding then not worth it. But hey if Dad can say his kid is Elite that makes all the sense in the world. Wake up folks. Its your kids journey. For the love of god communicate with your kid and then listen. Lastly follow through.

Dad of the year = Dad of an elite Fed player.
These parents should be studied.
So we are below middle of the pack in elite but destroyed Badv, amrcns, pats. I know a few others years are the same way. Watered down???

Re: Not Elite

Uhmmm, ya, mind yo business. You sound like a Karen

Re: Not Elite

Ummmm did I hit a nerve?

Re: Not Elite

uhmmm No, no nerve hitting...My kid has his contract. You're neighbors must hate you..MIND YO BUSINESS

Re: Not Elite

Maybe you don't know what a real Karen is like, or you've been butt hurt that you were outed as one before. Karens go screaming and raging and demanding whereas I asked a simple question. The kid will be a peewee, he doesn't dominate in any way at the platinum level and I don't know if the coach of the elite team has even given him a second thought. No call ups that I know about. I like the parents, my kid is friends with the player and I see this as a big mistake. Of course it sounds like I'm jealous and that's why I don't want to say anything. Why pull your kid away from friends if there's no need to? I see them not even getting a whiff at that team and leaving to go somewhere else, getting cut there too and ending up on some other team when they could have stayed and Joey would have been happy.

Re: Not Elite

So, the kid is a peewee, and I'll make the assumption he's been at a higher club level since Mites and the parents understand the annual process. If you and others on the team have leveraged your friendship and relationships to have honest conversations about Johnny's development and skill and they still aren't buying it, nothing will change their mind. Best bet is to recommend they don't burn their bridges with the org on their way out and let them see if the grass really is greener elsewhere.

Re: Not Elite

AnonF
Maybe you don't know what a real Karen is like, or you've been butt hurt that you were outed as one before. Karens go screaming and raging and demanding whereas I asked a simple question. The kid will be a peewee, he doesn't dominate in any way at the platinum level and I don't know if the coach of the elite team has even given him a second thought. No call ups that I know about. I like the parents, my kid is friends with the player and I see this as a big mistake. Of course it sounds like I'm jealous and that's why I don't want to say anything. Why pull your kid away from friends if there's no need to? I see them not even getting a whiff at that team and leaving to go somewhere else, getting cut there too and ending up on some other team when they could have stayed and Joey would have been happy.
I honestly can't tell if this comment is a joke or you are being a ball buster. "Joey" has his Parent's to worry about him. Maybe the previous poster shouldn't have called you a Karen, but boy, you are the Mom who's into everyone's business, aren't you?

Re: Not Elite

AnonF
Maybe you don't know what a real Karen is like, or you've been butt hurt that you were outed as one before. Karens go screaming and raging and demanding whereas I asked a simple question. The kid will be a peewee, he doesn't dominate in any way at the platinum level and I don't know if the coach of the elite team has even given him a second thought. No call ups that I know about. I like the parents, my kid is friends with the player and I see this as a big mistake. Of course it sounds like I'm jealous and that's why I don't want to say anything. Why pull your kid away from friends if there's no need to? I see them not even getting a whiff at that team and leaving to go somewhere else, getting cut there too and ending up on some other team when they could have stayed and Joey would have been happy.
I'm confused... is the kids name Johnny or Joey?

Re: Not Elite

Just...why? Seriously, why are you worried about what anyone's kid is doing but your own?

Re: Not Elite

A couple of thoughts.
One, every parent thinks their kid is much better than they really are, not matter how hard they try to be honest.
Next, people will move around every year, get used to it. This is just the beginning, so let them do what they want.
If you are close and want them to stay, then tell them that, but never evaluate a player to their parents.



Re: Not Elite

anon
A couple of thoughts.
One, every parent thinks their kid is much better than they really are, not matter how hard they try to be honest.
Next, people will move around every year, get used to it. This is just the beginning, so let them do what they want.
If you are close and want them to stay, then tell them that, but never evaluate a player to their parents.



Bravo. Someone who actually makes a lot of sense here.

Re: Not Elite

Anon
anon
A couple of thoughts.
One, every parent thinks their kid is much better than they really are, not matter how hard they try to be honest.
Next, people will move around every year, get used to it. This is just the beginning, so let them do what they want.
If you are close and want them to stay, then tell them that, but never evaluate a player to their parents.



Bravo. Someone who actually makes a lot of sense here.
Sometimes misery loves company.

In this case misery is someone who is not leaving and they would rather their friend stay with them to make it less miserable.

Re: Not Elite

How about this, tell the parents you wish them good luck, you will miss them, and your own kid isn’t ready to move up yet.

Re: Not Elite

must be an asst coaches kid?

Re: Not Elite

The kid is a stud. Move on up

Re: Not Elite

So, in your own words ...you would rather mind your business ....but you came here to the dboard to be told that? Perhaps it's time to find some friends to talk to