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Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

anon
The real answer is are the 10 and 11 year olds getting restless because they are waiting too much and not skating enough? Is the coaches whiteboard out explaining breakout #3 instead of running a simple peewee drill?
I don't buy the cant make it fun excuse, the best practice for that age is variations of 3 on 3 cross ice games and every kid loves that.
Sure the coach should get control of their focus and even discipline them when needed. But in many cases the problem is not with the young kid, its with the practice. Kids rarely get bored playing street hockey or on the ponds.
Dude, you are drunk on USA Hockey kool-aid.
Go coach a pee wee team and do nothing but 3on3 variations and keep it super fun. Unless your team can score 9 goals/game you will suck, the kids will be clueless entering bantams and after xmas when you are 2-20 your kids will be miserable, parents will be shopping and the owner will be firing you.

To the OP. Toughen up on your kid already. It's a 50 minute or max one hour practice. Pay attention. Is school fun? Does he pay attention there? Does the teacher teach math by letting them play musical chairs or do they have to focus and do boring crap? Your paying good money to be there. IF he can't pay attention maybe he does not enjoy it as much as you think.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

anon
The real answer is are the 10 and 11 year olds getting restless because they are waiting too much and not skating enough? Is the coaches whiteboard out explaining breakout #3 instead of running a simple peewee drill?
I don't buy the cant make it fun excuse, the best practice for that age is variations of 3 on 3 cross ice games and every kid loves that.
Sure the coach should get control of their focus and even discipline them when needed. But in many cases the problem is not with the young kid, its with the practice. Kids rarely get bored playing street hockey or on the ponds.
If I ran 3 vs 3 variations or stuck by USA hockey when I coached Peewee's my entire team would have left the following year.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

When he was 4.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Pit your ego aside for a minute.

Put him in town hockey and let him have fun.

You will thank me in a few years.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

I will answer this in two ways. First as a coach. There is nothing and I mean nothing more frustrating than explaining a drill and having kids come out and do it wrong. This can happen for a few reasons, obviously someone not paying attention, or the coach not explaining it well or some combination. The other issue I have is that of a parent with a kid with learning differences. He struggles to listen to an explanation and then do what is expected. Coaches have punished him for not paying attention when in fact his brain just doesn't process information that way. He typically will go to the end of a line in a drill to watch it a few times, and he has been docked for this as well. Ultimately you need to determine the reason they aren't paying attention. Not liking a drill is not an option and is bordering on disrespect for the volunteer coaches who have sacrificed their time to come up with a practice plan.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

ADHD
I will answer this in two ways. First as a coach. There is nothing and I mean nothing more frustrating than explaining a drill and having kids come out and do it wrong. This can happen for a few reasons, obviously someone not paying attention, or the coach not explaining it well or some combination. The other issue I have is that of a parent with a kid with learning differences. He struggles to listen to an explanation and then do what is expected. Coaches have punished him for not paying attention when in fact his brain just doesn't process information that way. He typically will go to the end of a line in a drill to watch it a few times, and he has been docked for this as well. Ultimately you need to determine the reason they aren't paying attention. Not liking a drill is not an option and is bordering on disrespect for the volunteer coaches who have sacrificed their time to come up with a practice plan.
You can and should tell your kid pay attention. At the same time, watch the drills to see what the issue might be (over-explanation, too much waiting between reps, or not a good demo). As ADHD said, some kids learn by listening and some by watching. A good coach will explain it quickly (sometimes even before the ice) and then demo it, while minimizing standing time. The tempo should keep the kids engaged with just enough rest to recover before the next rep.

You know your kid, if he learns from watching and you don't see the demo you can talk to the coach and say "hey, I noticed Johnny is not paying attention much and thought it worthwhile to let you know that he is very visual learner. Let me know how I can support you". Stay focused on your kid and not be critical about the coach. Remember he is a volunteer, and likely there so his kid can make the cut.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Your wallet and retirement account will also thank you!

Also, I'd question the coach and the practice plan more than the kids. Bored players are typically waiting around too much because the drills are too complicated for that age. That said, I'm sure the coach would appreciate the support if you tell your kid to work hard and pay attention if he wants to get better.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Town vs Club money no issue. Club team is 8 minutes from my house and the closest town team is 25 minutes away. Let’s not compare street hockey or pond hockey fun to organized hockey.

Team is good and coach seems to do great job. Issue is my kid not taking it as serious as I believe he should be. Like I said, I’ve been hands off with hockey since day 1. No car ride talks and certainly no livebarn clips I make him watch. He’s also one of the more skilled kids. He on the faster side. My question stands as when do I have that talk that hockey is getting more serious and he needs to adjust???

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

OP
Town vs Club money no issue. Club team is 8 minutes from my house and the closest town team is 25 minutes away. Let’s not compare street hockey or pond hockey fun to organized hockey.

Team is good and coach seems to do great job. Issue is my kid not taking it as serious as I believe he should be. Like I said, I’ve been hands off with hockey since day 1. No car ride talks and certainly no livebarn clips I make him watch. He’s also one of the more skilled kids. He on the faster side. My question stands as when do I have that talk that hockey is getting more serious and he needs to adjust???
If the coach is doing his part with the drills and practice plan, then you can and should talk to your kid. Working hard and attitude are qualities that you should encourage as a parent both in sports and in live, and its not like discussing those are the same as his shot or on-ice play making abilities. I'll assume you are an good involved parent given the time you've spent around hockey for him. This is just another parenting opportunity more so than a hockey one.

I had a talk with mine around 11 and have had many since (now plays T1 Midget, which is why I joke I'm poor). That is old enough and hopefully mature enough to understand. Before that it is just juice boxes and sleepovers. Is he there to goof off and just have fun (that is what town hockey is for)? Or does he want to be good enough to play the next level? If so, don't hurt your potential by not paying attention and working your tail off each and every practice. At age 11, mine spent a summer stickhandling because he said he no longer wanted to be an average stick handler and it paid off for him.

Ask him what his goals are and how you can support them? If you have a good relationship, he will tell you and you can help him stay accountable. Worked wonders for my kid, though we've had many conversations over the years, and he is on a great trajectory in hockey and more importantly as a young adult.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Anon
Pit your ego aside for a minute.

Put him in town hockey and let him have fun.

You will thank me in a few years.
My ego?

He’s having fun. Possibly too much.

Your reading comprehension is terrible.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

OP
Anon
Pit your ego aside for a minute.

Put him in town hockey and let him have fun.

You will thank me in a few years.
My ego?

He’s having fun. Possibly too much.

Your reading comprehension is terrible.
Yes. Put your ego aside.

I am not basing my response on reading comprehension. I’m basing it on 25 years of coaching and having an older boy who has been through it.

Kids who don’t take it serious at peewee don’t care as much and that is fine that they don’t want to take it serious.

Your answer is right in front of you.

You even posted that you feel he is not taking it as serious you feel he should.

That is where e disconnect is.

He is playing. Not you. It is his game. Not yours.

Put “your” ego aside and he isn’t taking it serious because he doesn’t care about it.

Drive the 25 minutes to town and let him have fun as I posted.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

One more thing.

Stop watching your kids practice at pee wee. Let them figure it out.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

I agree with not watching practice too hard but all parents watch hard the first few weeks. Then they find a drinking buddy and go out to the lot and have cold ones

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Anon
OP
Anon
Pit your ego aside for a minute.

Put him in town hockey and let him have fun.

You will thank me in a few years.
My ego?

He’s having fun. Possibly too much.

Your reading comprehension is terrible.
Yes. Put your ego aside.

I am not basing my response on reading comprehension. I’m basing it on 25 years of coaching and having an older boy who has been through it.

Kids who don’t take it serious at peewee don’t care as much and that is fine that they don’t want to take it serious.

Your answer is right in front of you.

You even posted that you feel he is not taking it as serious you feel he should.

That is where e disconnect is.

He is playing. Not you. It is his game. Not yours.

Put “your” ego aside and he isn’t taking it serious because he doesn’t care about it.

Drive the 25 minutes to town and let him have fun as I posted.
Let me get this straight. So what you are saying is my own sense of self esteem is in the way due to me questioning when players should be taking it seriously?

And are you suggesting that I should no involvement beside transportation and support at all like I have so far in his 7 years of hockey?

Last question, why would town hockey be more fun compared to his club team? He is very good friends a lot of kids on his club team and the only kid he knows on the closest town team has told us that they are leaving for another club team because it’s very disorganized.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

OP
Anon
OP
Anon
Pit your ego aside for a minute.

Put him in town hockey and let him have fun.

You will thank me in a few years.
My ego?

He’s having fun. Possibly too much.

Your reading comprehension is terrible.
Yes. Put your ego aside.

I am not basing my response on reading comprehension. I’m basing it on 25 years of coaching and having an older boy who has been through it.

Kids who don’t take it serious at peewee don’t care as much and that is fine that they don’t want to take it serious.

Your answer is right in front of you.

You even posted that you feel he is not taking it as serious you feel he should.

That is where e disconnect is.

He is playing. Not you. It is his game. Not yours.

Put “your” ego aside and he isn’t taking it serious because he doesn’t care about it.

Drive the 25 minutes to town and let him have fun as I posted.
Let me get this straight. So what you are saying is my own sense of self esteem is in the way due to me questioning when players should be taking it seriously?

And are you suggesting that I should no involvement beside transportation and support at all like I have so far in his 7 years of hockey?

Last question, why would town hockey be more fun compared to his club team? He is very good friends a lot of kids on his club team and the only kid he knows on the closest town team has told us that they are leaving for another club team because it’s very disorganized.
That’s almost exactly what I am saying.

You think he should be taking it more serious. You think that because he is playing club hockey and you are invested as a parent to have him be the best he can be. I get that.

Yes, it’s there game and that dreams. Be a cab and a bank for them. Be a supportive parent but stay away from anything more.

Town team won’t be more fun. But you won’t care as much if he doesn’t take it seriously. Because you won’t feel like he has to take it serious and hold on to that little chance that he will figure it out and make it.

Let’s get back to playing for fun town hockey that doesn’t really matter. Most clubs don’t matter either. But the parents and owners are heavily invested so there is pressure.

Kids should only go to club after dominating lower levels and literally not being challenged and only if they are asking for more. Not you wanting more.

So. Yes. My response was exactly as you interpreted it.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Anon
OP
Anon
OP
Anon
Pit your ego aside for a minute.

Put him in town hockey and let him have fun.

You will thank me in a few years.
My ego?

He’s having fun. Possibly too much.

Your reading comprehension is terrible.
Yes. Put your ego aside.

I am not basing my response on reading comprehension. I’m basing it on 25 years of coaching and having an older boy who has been through it.

Kids who don’t take it serious at peewee don’t care as much and that is fine that they don’t want to take it serious.

Your answer is right in front of you.

You even posted that you feel he is not taking it as serious you feel he should.

That is where e disconnect is.

He is playing. Not you. It is his game. Not yours.

Put “your” ego aside and he isn’t taking it serious because he doesn’t care about it.

Drive the 25 minutes to town and let him have fun as I posted.
Let me get this straight. So what you are saying is my own sense of self esteem is in the way due to me questioning when players should be taking it seriously?

And are you suggesting that I should no involvement beside transportation and support at all like I have so far in his 7 years of hockey?

Last question, why would town hockey be more fun compared to his club team? He is very good friends a lot of kids on his club team and the only kid he knows on the closest town team has told us that they are leaving for another club team because it’s very disorganized.
That’s almost exactly what I am saying.

You think he should be taking it more serious. You think that because he is playing club hockey and you are invested as a parent to have him be the best he can be. I get that.

Yes, it’s there game and that dreams. Be a cab and a bank for them. Be a supportive parent but stay away from anything more.

Town team won’t be more fun. But you won’t care as much if he doesn’t take it seriously. Because you won’t feel like he has to take it serious and hold on to that little chance that he will figure it out and make it.

Let’s get back to playing for fun town hockey that doesn’t really matter. Most clubs don’t matter either. But the parents and owners are heavily invested so there is pressure.

Kids should only go to club after dominating lower levels and literally not being challenged and only if they are asking for more. Not you wanting more.

So. Yes. My response was exactly as you interpreted it.
Agree with most of what your saying but "Kids should only go to club after dominating lower levels and literally not being challenged and only if they are asking for more. Not you wanting more" is far from accurate. My kid started with a town team and was always really good. Moved him to EHF platinum last season and he was completely lost. Not even close. He got cut at end of season. I truly believe if he was with that team from day one he would have been much better. Now hes on another club team in a different league.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

What I don’t understand is why some people respond to honest questions with rude answers. It isn’t about ego, when a parent is concerned about his child’s attitude. He would have the same concern, if this was happening in school. Should the kid just drop out of school because he isn’t paying attention in class? If anything, OP is pretty humble in voicing his concern. It’s ok to be a parent, you aren’t coaching your kid, you are concerned about his attitude. I would suggest asking questions, instead of telling him your opinion: “hey what’s going on in practice , I noticed you and your buddies are fooling around, is practice boring, do you still like the sport etc.?” I would only insert a gentle life lesson about work ethic after I verified that 1, he loves the sport 2, he wants to play and 3, the drills are not engaging. If he doesn’t want to be there, a conversation will save everyone a lot of time and money.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Have the conversation asap. It doesn't need to be an argument. Tell him what you have noticed. If you see him acting like a clown in line and then doing a drill like garbage than you tell him. If he's the type of kid that isn't happy unless a chance to score on a drill occurs then tell him he needs to grow up. Assuming he 11 he is old enough to hear that he needs to take things seriously. Specially if he is on a good club team that he enjoys playing on.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Start talking to him now. He is old enough to get it. Parenting and coaching your kid are two different things. To me, this falls under parenting. Would you be alright if he half-assed his school work too? Talk to him about what he wants with hockey and if his current efforts are aligned with that.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Anon
Have the conversation asap. It doesn't need to be an argument. Tell him what you have noticed. If you see him acting like a clown in line and then doing a drill like garbage than you tell him. If he's the type of kid that isn't happy unless a chance to score on a drill occurs then tell him he needs to grow up. Assuming he 11 he is old enough to hear that he needs to take things seriously. Specially if he is on a good club team that he enjoys playing on.
Absolutely stop watching practice ASAP. Get your information from talking to your kid and/or the coach, and enjoy watching his games. Notice if he's developing or not there. But get out of the rink. You've got to be kidding me.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Not to come across as a hardo but I expect my kids to pay attention and try his hardest at whatever he does. Team sports should naturally teach that....work hard as a team, win as a team. This is a teaching moment for you cant start early enough.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Had the conversation. Turns out that head coach had already had a quick talk with him and a few others after their last practice. I wasn’t as nice as the coach but got point across. No arguing. He said at one point that hated not knowing what to do during drills. I expect to see different kid tonight.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

OP
Had the conversation. Turns out that head coach had already had a quick talk with him and a few others after their last practice. I wasn’t as nice as the coach but got point across. No arguing. He said at one point that hated not knowing what to do during drills. I expect to see different kid tonight.
Do your kid a favor - stop watching practices.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

OP, Good for you for having the conversation. Great step.

you can still watch your Pee Wee's practice. Just not all of it, and make it a social thing with other parents. Don't bear down on your kid.

Most important: Don't expect a new kid tonight!!! Too much. These things take time. Its a change of habit for the coach and the kid. Don't tell you kid he is good at hockey, or he could be good at hockey if he pays more attention. Tell you kid you liked his effort on one drill or another, but his effort could improve at this drill.

If your kid thinks, "Hey, they all think I am good, why does he have to work hard, he is already good in dad's eyes"
If you kid thinks, "My dad really liked my effort today" What do you think he will bring to the next practice? The sense that he is already good, or I want to make Dad proud and bring a really good effort again today" (That goes for everything in life) What kind of hockey player will he become if you give him that feedback instead of I think your a good hockey player Junior.

Re: When to correct my kids attitude?

Last night he and a few others looked way more focused. Obviously don’t know how long it will last but the practice looked much better as well.