Whether or not this person is or is not your ex is not the case here. It is the fact that your ex could do something like this and you know it. I lived with an ex who would play mind games, lie to me and then say I was the one who was wrong. He loved to twist, turn and manipulate things just to get what he needed. I see now how he uses people and when he is done how he can just throw them away as well. Others have seen this too. He used my love for him throughout our marriage to gain whatever he wanted and only gave if he would get more in return. I look back now and see what others have been trying to tell me at times in their own subtle way. I also became over panicked during our divorce never knowing what he was going to pull next. He had no fear of lying in court and always puts up a friendly front to make himself look good in the eyes of others. Someone told me to look up the word sociopath and I did. I found it was like reading his life story. I always thought a sociopath was some crazy person out kidnapping people and murdering for profit, but that is not the case at all. The common sociopath is known as a very social person who manipulates people for their own gain. They really have no true empathy for people but rather, they copy emotions they see other people display when it will benefit them in some way. They live as if there are rules for everyone around and yet they do not accept theses rules for themselves. They do what they want when they want and talk their way through things. They come on kind and giving and when they suck you in they take and take until they feel you are slipping away and then they give just enough to get you back and hold you. I could go on and on but my ex fits all this and more. He really did come on this forum during our divorce. I started to suspect something and then my younger son confirmed it when he told me he saw his father and the other woman on my forum. Then as a true sociopath my ex did not accept any blame...he told me it was his girlfriend who was on and that he was upset at what she had done and would speak to her. I knew it was the both of them. My son had no reason to lie. The thing is...whether this is your ex or just a mistake you have made...you have to learn to protect yourself yet also not get so over paranoid that it will ruin your life and happiness. I was becoming so fearful that I had to stop myself at times yet I knew if I were not careful my ex would pull the rug from under me at any moment with his lies and controlling personality. I also had to ask God for help with this. I had to put my trust in God because I could not put it in my ex and I had to learn that if my ex pulled anything I would have to trust God to set me free from his lies and mind games and then I stopped looking over my shoulder so much. I did still have to remain careful and watchful...but I also learned how to not read to much into all my fears because if I fell... God would catch me and pull me out. To this day I do not trust my ex. I do have to deal with him and he is not so bullying now that the divorce is over. I also had to learn where to draw my personal boundaries and stand up to my ex and not let him manipulate or push me into something. It is a learning process to live with a sociopath because they don't let you go until they are ready so you have to learn to free yourself by learning to free yourself from your fears of him and trust in God instead.
You are in my prayers,
Susan