I am looking for some advise. I told my ex it is over 4 months ago after 34 years of being an after though, and verbally abused. He has been crying for 4 months and depressed and even tried to kill him self with his diabetic meds. I had to call 911. He has since been declared legally blind, from his diabetes, he never took care of him self. And now is saying he can not do anything because he is blind so I have to stay. He can see a little bit. And I think more then he is letting on too. its his crying and telling me he has lost everything that makes me feel so mad. There is no other word. I have two choices one is to go and start a new life and be happy, or stay and be very unhappy for the rest of my life. My children 25 and 23 are mad at me, my friends have all but told me I need to stay and help him through his blindness. My family all want me to be happy but that they do not talk to me. so what I am asking for is to talk with others that are or have gone thru this too. Thank you
Pbnjmom
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pbnjmom: I had friends/former neighbors in a similar situation. They still got divorced. One had cancer, the other, a Diabetic who recently died. They were divorced after 25 years - it was a long time coming. They also took care of her mom who became blind in their/her home (that was before the divorce and she was also a diabetic) and they had to have her stay in a Nursing Home at the end of her life because she needed drops in her eyes every half hour and they both had to work and could not care for her all night. Prior to that, she could only see shadows of people as they went by. The couple had a 16 yr. old adopted child who never got over the divorce and held it against his adoptive father (the diabetic) who left which caused his wife (the one with cancer) to file for divorce. He, many times, wanted to die and was lonely - but, he was also very verbally abusive and threw things around. I recommend a free consultation with a Family Lawyer who handles divorce to see what's at stake in this long marriage.
YOU live your life, he lives his. If you need to leave, leave. There may be things you can do to ease your parting when it comes to family and friends but THEY do not live your life. They do not get to make this decision for you. Your life, your decision.
Sounds like you could use individual counseling. If only so you can begin to wrap your head around all the things that are going on with so many different people. Good luck.