Now that the kids are grown, the high drama is over, and I have supported our children for the last five years with no help from their father, I think I’m ready for a divorce. There have been many obstacles to reaching this point, financial challenges, significant health issues for both kids, job loss, car failures and having to move five times. I guess I’m stronger for it, and deeper in debt. Still, the Narcissist won’t discuss a settlement, and is alternately complacent to “just get it over with” or threatening to hire a lawyer if I dare to “make him look bad.” Considering his arrest record and time in prison, his refusal to participate in family therapy, his encouraging our clinically depressed son to act on his frustration and physically attack me, and his threats of violence to our teenage daughter while she suffered a debilitating neurological condition, he can “look bad” without my intervention. I have worked very hard to double my income and support our children, and despite having two college degrees, he moved in with his mother to nurse his workers-comp injury while working under the table for cash, and now he would go after my retirement and try for spousal support. Any suggestion on navigating a divorce, and keeping my retirement without paying spousal support in California?