I am so sorry you're going through that. Emotional affairs in my experience are way worse to deal with. During my marriage, I encountered both. I found that the physical affairs were much easier to let go of because I held onto the fact that we had something much more special than that and once I changed whatever was making her angry it would be okay. However, she then had another affair a year later and this time it was an emotional affair. I had no advantage at this point. She would deny it everytime I brought it up and made me feel like I was being controlling and not wanting her to be happy. Apparently I didn't want her to have friends because of what we went through but she would tell me every day and multiple times a day that she just needed a friendship and I was her soulmate and she wanted our life. So against my better judgement I trusted her. Then more red flags. Secretive messages, bailing on our anniversary dinner and my birthday to go hang out with her "friend." It all became too much. I lost all control and would fight with her constantly. Crossing lines that I shouldnt have crossed but I was so hurt and angry because I knew there was more going on but part of me wanted so badly to believe her. Fast forward to our last fight when I decided to spend the night away from home and she spent the night on the phone with this girl. I also believe that was actually at my house and in my bed that night. The fight was so bad my ex said she wanted to go stay with her mom for a bit. She never came back. Has not reached out to me. And is now dating that girl. I feel so used. Lost. Empty. How can someone just magically go from saying you're their everything to acting like you're nothing?