hi i need advice. dealing with in law problems for 2 years

its been on and off communication with husband but every year its the same pattern for us

we always try and weather the storm but im tired of my husband's mood

any big family occassions he gets angry at me. He wants me to go. I dont. I wont allow them to rip me apart and be freely hostile towards me in their own territory.

i know he needs me....we have a child with autism and its his only child. he was 40 when we had him

our child is homeschooled and its the best for him.

in laws are not supportive of my son's autism. they are still in denial stage

my husband earns good money and in laws are jealous. i have put up with them for 10 years. washing dishes every gathering. never stood up when they are sarcastic etc.

my mother in law is a passive aggressive woman and very possesive of my husband

my husband is torn and he hates being in the middle. so its easier for him to vent anger towards me. thats how he is handling the situation

his mother has massive control over him

im so tired of this. i feel so stuck. im ready to let go come what may.

i stayed for the sake of marraige. but i am not sure anymore if my husband care for me more than his family

he is a good man but when his family comes into the picture. our husband-wife dynamic changes.

he puts on a "son's hat" rather than a "husband's hat"

divorce is a scary thought but i just want to know if this marraige is really worth saving even though i dont know where i stand with my husband

Sorry for your situation but kind of difficult situation.
Your husband is in the middle of two families
But at the end parents are ONLY ONES in life and family will be always there for him
At this point I think your husband needs to put he’s feet on the ground, he’s a grown man , a father and a husband.
Time for him to stop the possessive mother ( I also understand the mom will be difficult see the son with other family specially if he’s the only child), but also he needs to let them respect you.
But also not sure how’s your discipline in front of them ?
Maybe you are possessive with your husband also?

Good luck