I am devastated. My husband was caught Friday night messaging another woman and making plans to meet her after work for sex. The things he said to her ripped my heart out. I take full blame for this heartache as he has done this many times in our 20 years and I have forgiven him. Although I know divorce is the answer I am terrified of life without him and feel so afraid of my future. I know I can never trust him as well were "working on our marriage and building my trust back" from a previous screw up of his when this happened. Where do you find the strength to do what you know needs to be done and how do you deal with the relentless pain of losing who you love? He doesn't want the divorce ironically...but I know its time.
Cheating is a selfish act. Sure you are probably part of the blame. Maybe it is weight gain, lack of sexual interests, a number of things but it does not matter. He is a coward. You can do better. There are other men out there that do not cheat that you can have.
This wife is NOT to blame! Adultery under ANY circumstances is WRONG!! Don't go blaming her if she's gained weight....how do you know her husband is obese?? It's easy to blame someone cheating on this or that...bottom line is that adultery is dead wrong and this wife needs to finally start the steps to take care of herself and God help her if there are children. I've been there and done that. It was the darkest time of my life but I've managed to make a new life for myself. As for my EX-husband...let's just say KARMA is alive and well.
Heather: It seems like he wants you and the other women. Please don't get back into bed with him and get tested for STDs. It takes time to get over something like this (two years on average). Spend time with supportive friends and/or family over coffee or whatever you like. Use this time to take care of yourself. I go to yoga and a fitness center. If money is tight, you can go for walks when the weather is good. See a Lawyer for a consultation. If there are no kids involved, you can eventually cut ties with him. I was married for 21 years, and, for many years he spent time at Strip Clubs I was told where he met the girls back stage. It could be your husband is a sex addict or has some other type of problem. See a Lawyer ASAP and get your own bank account and own credit card. Sorry this happened to you.
My husband cheated 3 times that I know of. I forgave him once then found out about 2 others. We had an amazing sex life to this day he will tell you it was great and it was daily.His cheating wasnt about me or our marriage or was he unsatisfied in the bedroom. He was unhappy with himself, his business failed and no matter how many times I tried to tell him its ok we will try again he still felt like a failure and these other women didnt know him so he could lie and pretend to be what he wanted them to see him as. Made him feel bigger better successful and when I found out and everything crashed down he was angry at me like I destroyed his fake life.
I miss him everyday still but I cant be with someone that hurt me much for such selfish reasosn.