I'm in the worst place in my entire life and I don't know what to do, how to move, how to feel, and how to get through my days. My partner of 15 years basically ghosted me and our life together and the rug got pulled out from under me. He was away traveling and everything was fine between us before he left and he came home to tell me he cheated randomly and needed to leave. He feels guilt shame and self hatred but is unwilling to work on anything. I pulled most of the weight in our relationship for over a decade. I took care of everything and it's no surprise since many women fall into that trap during relationships. He is an avoider and I'm a problem solver. He failed to communicate despite me asking to talk. He's never learned how to be a responsible adult and now he's 32 and wants to be Peter Pan about life. He says "we grew apart" but he shut down, he inhibited any growth. We never had a volatile relationship, we got along very well. My entire life is changed now. We bought a house a couple years ago and now I have to figure out if I can keep it. My family lives an hour and half away and while the phone calls help every day I'm so alone and in pain. I have ptsd from this. I'm going to work every day, I'm trying to stay busy, I'm talking to friends and I'm exhausted trying to keep this up. I'm never sleeping through the night, my anxiety makes me sick in the stomach and I can't eat. I'm looking for ways to cope and I'm reading self help articles daily. I feel so betrayed, disrespected and not treated like the dignified woman I am. In need of some positive advice, and vibes and truth from women. I feel so alone right now
Renee: If you do not have minor kids together, cut ties with him and see a Lawyer ASAP. Lawyers help with things like figuring out finances. Unfortunately, in most cases, the marital home is ordered sold. Spend time with supportive people. You deserve better than this guy. Let the past go. Consider counseling if you have insurance to cover it. Best wishes.
You're not alone, it's called betrayal trauma and it is a form of PTSD. I'm also trying to find comfort while going through the stages of grief. Sometimes I'm full of Rage, and other moments I can barely breathe or get out of bed.
I didn't sign up for this, and I never believed that this could happen to me. It's painful knowing that you want to fix something, and the other person doesn't even want to try or acknowledge if it can be fixed. I wish you the best of luck.