Divorce went through just a few days ago. Had been separated for a year. He has cheated at least 4 times in our 18 year marriage and I took him back every time. These were full blown affairs where the women wanted to leave their husbands for him. He lied about having a vasectomy, so I thought we couldn't have kids for the first 10 years of our marriage. I forgave him for that, as well. While we were separated this time, he was having a full blown relationship with an unsuspecting work colleague. I really believe she had no idea about me. I filed for divorce, but secretly hoped he would change into the man I thought he was when we got married. I hoped for this right up until the morning the divorce petition was signed by the judge.
So, now, I'm pushing 40, have no real friends I can talk to about this (he was my life), and will probably never have kids. All I did was try to make it work, try to forgive and see the good in him. I've had to learn that you can't force people to do the right thing. That's been the hardest lesson of all. It has cost me dearly. Even so, I pray that God steers me to the people I need to be around and that I will eventually find a good, kind man. Until then, I'm going to work on forgiving my ex-husband, not for his sake...but for mine. To have some peace in my heart.
My heart goes out to each and every person that posts on this forum. I know how incredibly hard it is to cope with the pain of divorce. Just know you are not alone in this.
I thought I was reading my own story. Thank you for sharing. It helps to know I am not alone nor am I crazy. I still keeping hoping that he will be the man he claimed he was in the beginning, but in my heart I know it will never happen.